National Football League

10 games that will decide the 2009 NFL season

Published Sep. 10, 2009 8:14 p.m. ET

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When alleged analysts look to predict what's going to happen in a given NFL season, many ignore two things:

1. No more than a handful of them have predicted the two Super Bowl teams correctly since Cowboys-Steelers back in '78. Seriously, who had Cardinals-Steelers on their dance card last year? You could combine the DNA of Nostradamus, Jimmy the Greek and Biff from Back to the Future 2 and still not come close to that one.

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2. The schedule, of course. If a team like, say, Atlanta makes some good offseason moves (Matt Ryan, Michael Turner) and gets to play a last-place schedule (opening against the Lions at home is a key springboard to any successful season), suddenly the road from worst to first (or in their 2008 case, second, but no matter) becomes a whole lot easier.

And within that schedule of hundreds of games comes some intriguing beauties that at least appear to be cool on paper before opening night rolls around. We think we have narrowed it down to 10 key ones.

New York Giants at Dallas (Week 2)

So let me get this straight. Dallas is still the best ratings draw in sports. They just built a stadium that was more expensive to build than even the Bandbox in the Bronx (some refer to it as the new Yankee Stadium), and they can't get a home opener in Week 1?

We did some investigating and it turns out that someone forgot to inform the Texas Rangers not to schedule any games that weekend. Apparently the two organizations can't co-exist in Arlington at the same time (despite Texas being bigger than France, Germany, Spain and a whole bunch of other countries).

Anyway, the projected over/under for Giants-Cowboys is 41. Note: That isn't the number of points Vegas thinks both teams will combine for. Instead, 41 represents the number of do-overs on punts a national audience will see thanks to a scoreboard hanging so low over the field that Ed Too Tall Jones has already hit his head on it ... twice.

Atlanta at New England (Week 3)

Matt Ryan returns to Boston to take on Tom Brady and the Pats in what could be a Super Bowl preview. And there's a 99.7% chance Ryan will be compared to Tom Brady at least as many times as Brady will be compared to Joe Montana. Over/under on replays/angles of Brady's '08 knee injury: 4.1.

San Diego at Pittsburgh (Week 4)

Replay of the game with that wild ending when the Steelers scored an allegedly meaningless TD off a fumble on the final play of the game. "Allegedly meaningless" because those 88 percent of fans who watch football while having some kind of financial stake in the outcome (straight wagers, fantasy football, office pools) thought Pittsburgh had covered as a result of said TD. Some fortunate souls in Vegas were even able to cash on it until the NFL had its own George Brett pine tar moment and took it off the board many minutes later. This bizarre scenario ended up leading to thousands across the country simultaneously saying (expletives omitted), "I won the game, I lost the game ... where's Tim Donaghy when you need him?!?"

Oh yeah, one of these two teams should challenge New England in the AFC Championship. All that's needed is for San Diego to break out the away version of the powder blues and we'll have the greatest color game ever (color games to be defined a bit later).

New England at Denver (Week 4)

Since this is what the NFL is calling a "legacy game", it got me genuinely excited to see the Pats in their ultra-cool red and blue throwbacks vs. the Broncos and their should-have-never-ever-been changed Orange crush uniforms. But because the league's marketing gurus have this penchant for bypassing the type of uniforms I loved as a kid in the '80s, Denver will be wearing unis absolutely no one under 60 can ever recall seeing.

Two thoughts:

1. Were the San Diego Padres inspired by this color scheme?

2. We now know the REAL reason why Jay Cutler wanted out of Denver.

And the news gets worse. The Broncos will actually be seen in these things TWICE this season.

Anywho, what actually occurs during the game will likely be a blowout considering the implosion that has occurred since Josh McDaniels arrived to the city way above sea level. Not since Isiah Thomas got off a plane at a local New York airport has there been a more ominous feeling to a start of a coaching career than that of Jilted Josh.

Ran the bratty franchise QB out of town? Check.

Almost ran the bratty franchise WR out of the town? Check.

Have already run myself out of town after we go 4-12? Check.

Unlike the whole Mangini feud between the Jets and Pats, Bill Belichick will not only shake McDaniels' hand after the game, but will likely hug it out with his former coordinator like he's the next Ari Gold for giving the Pats such an easy road victory.

Arizona at New York Giants (Week 7)

Two top NFC teams with completely contrasting styles face off in a former NFC East matchup (and you wonder why Arizona was so bad for so long, making cross-country trips to play teams in its own division for 14 years). Over/under on the Cardinals' total rushing yards against a vastly superior defensive line? 34. Over/under on the number of times Plaxico's name is mentioned if the Giants struggle on offense? 34.

Vikings at Packers (Week 8)