You probably know whom you're rooting for in the 2017 postseason, but do you know which teams to pull against?
Let's be honest: No matter which NBA team you support, each franchise has something that makes you want to hate its very existence.
So with the real games starting Saturday, we decided to take a look at why you should be rooting against each playoff team (in alphabetical order). Consider it a tribute to the late Charlie Murphy and the "Playa Haters' Ball."
Because rooting for the Hawks means you're rooting for Dwight Howard.
Your parents raised you better than that.
Because it's Boston.
The alternative to rooting against the Celtics is watching the city of Boston host yet another championship parade — and having to listen to Celtics fans tell you about how they knew all along how great their team was, but nobody believed in them, and how do you like them apples?!
No thank you.
Tom SzczerbowskiTom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports
Because the Bulls aren't allowed to win a championship in the post-Jordan era.
Any Chicago basketball championship won after 1998 diminishes Jordan's legacy as the GOAT who hand-delivered six rings to the Bulls, and we're only capable of viewing Jordan in very black-or-white terms.
Speaking of MJ ...
Because if LeBron wins another title, the only NBA conversation will be whether he's better than MJ.
Four rings and seven straight Finals appearances would give LeBron a compelling case to at least start this conversation in earnest.
Believe us: If it happens, it's the only thing you'll hear about the NBA for the next year.
Golden State Warriors
Because Draymond Green exists.
And he can be the absolute worst.
You want a player like Draymond on your team, sure, but that doesn't mean you have to root for him to succeed in the playoffs.
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Because defense should matter more than 3-pointers
Threes are good. We love the NBA's embrace of the long-ball. But if a team that rains threes and plays average defense at best (admittedly, the Rockets are better than you think on that end) can win the title, what are we all even doing here?
Because a Pacers loss could be best for the NBA (and the Lakers).
An early Indiana playoff exit, combined with Paul George missing all three All-NBA teams this year, would push the Pacers All-Star toward his destiny: signing with the Los Angeles Lakers in the 2018 offseason.
Richard MacksonRichard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports
Los Angeles Clippers
Because some people just want to watch the world burn.
An early exit for the Clippers would mean Blake Griffin leaves in free agency this summer, turning the NBA world on its ear by placing another superstar on the market.
Griffin to OKC, anyone?
Because the NBA will cease to exist if the Grizzlies make the Finals.
Sources indicate (not really, to be clear; we're joking) commissioner Adam Silver has initiated a protocol to dissolve the Association should Marc Gasol's franchise best the likes of the Clippers, Rockets, Spurs and Warriors in the Western Conference playoffs.
We like the NBA, so we're going to root against that outcome.
Jeffrey SwingerJeff Swinger-USA TODAY Sports
Because if Giannis Antetokounmpo can win a title this year, we're all doomed.
The Greek Freak is still a few years away from reaching his full potential — or so we think. If he can carry this injured Bucks team (remember, they're without Jabari Parker) to the Finals without reaching the peak of his powers, the NBA is in a whole lot of trouble.
Oklahoma City Thunder
Because we love it when Russell Westbrook is angry.
The only thing better than Westbrook unleashing his fury on the postseason and leading the Thunder to a title would be Westbrook unleashing his fury on the postseason and getting eliminated in the first round — then using that exit as fuel to destroy the NBA next season.
Portland Trail Blazers
Because Damian Lillard's ego doesn't need any help.
To be clear, we love Lillard's self-confidence, as well as his abilities both on the court and off.
But a Blazers title would mean a summer of Lillard mixtapes, and we have other things we'd like to do this offseason more than listen to Dame talk about how amazing he is. (Which is accurate, but still.)
San Antonio Spurs
Because the universe can't prove Kawhi Leonard MVP voters right.
Leonard was phenomenal this year; he just wasn't one of the top three MVP candidates.
An unexpected San Antonio championship run, however, would give justification to all those misguided souls who voted for the Spurs wing as the Most Valuable Player in 2016-17.
Soobum ImSoobum Im-USA TODAY Sports
Because the Raptors are from Canada, and that's not the United States of America.
MAKE BASKETBALL GREAT AGAIN.
Jennifer StewartJennifer Stewart-USA TODAY Sports
Because the Jazz have replaced the Spurs as the NBA's most boring team.
The kicker: Both teams are actually a lot of fun to watch if you take the time to appreciate the nuance of how they attack the game.
Unfortunately, no one has time for that kind of investment these days. So forget you, Utah!
Because we're sick of Washington insiders running everything.
The NBA belongs to the people, not those fat cats in their Verizon Center suites eating caviar and downing ... hydra blood? Is that what rich people drink?