Major League Baseball

Barry Tompkins: In time for the playoffs: A Giants primer

Published Oct. 10, 2010 10:12 p.m. ET

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"The Giants' win the pennant, the Giants' win the pennant, the Giants' win the pennant." It was in my opinion, the greatest call in the history of sports broadcasting.

It came after an unprecedented run that found the Giants 13 games out of first place in August to the hated Dodgers, and it ended with the least probable batter hitting the shortest and yet loudest home run in the history of the game. The Giants were champions.

It wasn't quite as dramatic last week for this batch of unlikely champions in San Francisco but it was every bit as satisfying.

And now the reality sets in. There are two playoff series to be played before that trip to the World Series that could ultimately mean the first championship ever in San Francisco and the first for the Giants since 1954.

It also means that the leather-throated fan wearing the panda hat and a shirt that would only be seen apple bobbing on Halloween will very likely be priced right out of playoffs and World Series.

There are only two times a year when baseball fans are generally excluded from attending the festivities of their team - Opening Day and the playoffs and World Series. The reason is that ticket prices reach the stage where a choice must be made. Do I attend the Giants' game, or do I simply buy myself a small, third-world country like, say, Surinam?

So, I write this is a primer for some of us here in sunny Marin who will be doing something they haven't done all year - attending a baseball game. And, how nice, it's a playoff game.

Your San Francisco Giants are a unique bunch. So please don't embarrass yourselves by asking why that skinny young man throwing the ball has such long hair and how he'd look so much better neatly coiffed and with better tailored pants. That guy would be The Freak. Honest. It's a compliment.

Then you have the Panda. Even though he does like to lie on his back and eat bamboo shoots (or anything else for that matter), the Panda refers to the Giants third baseman Pablo Sandoval and his physical likeness to the movie "Kung Fu Panda." "Kung Fu Panda" came and went in about three months - the Giants are hoping for more from Sandoval.

"Huff Daddy" is our first baseman. Aubrey Huff is a good player and a very unoriginal guy when it comes to selecting nicknames. Please - don't humor him, lest the rapper of the similar name come and insert a bat in a spot where "Daddy" would have some difficulty running out an infield hit.

Don't even try and figure out the nickname B-Weezy - it's the Giants' closer Brian Wilson's self-proclaimed moniker. To clarify, Brian Wilson is the kid in everybody's class who tried soooo hard to call attention to himself that he sometimes wet his pants in the process. But he does get noticed.

Here are a few other tips for those of you whose game experience might be limited to the Ross Valley Little League. Screaming things from the stands like, "Just keep your eye on the ball," "Squash the bug," or "A walk's as good as a hit," generally will not resonate with today's major leaguer. However, something like, "My trust fund kicks your ass," could get you an autographed bobble-head.

And here are a couple of baseball terms I thought I might clarify. Home plate really isn't china - it's pointed and peas would roll right off of it. There are no bulls in the bullpen. You are safe. Stolen bases are not reason to call 911. A wild pitch is not a come-on to a cougar. A grand slam is not breakfast at Denny's, and hitting for the cycle does not mean there's a Schwinn waiting for you in the clubhouse.

Just trying to help.

Better yet, if you do get tickets to the playoffs and World Series and haven't been to a game in the dregs of June - why not just give them to someone who really cares.

Barry Tompkins is a longtime sports broadcaster who lives in Marin. Contact him at barrytompkins@barrytompkins.com

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