National Basketball Association

Steph Curry 'Stephmojis' are a thing that exists now

Published Jun. 1, 2016 7:19 p.m. ET

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This is it. It finally happened. 

Just when thought the Internet had grown fat and idle, a slate of Steph Curry emojis lands in your lap.

Welcome to 2016, friend:

"Stephmojis," a $2 purchasable keyboard of emojis and animations "curated" by the Golden State Warriors guard himself became available Wednesday on iTunes.

The entire Curry family from Ayesha to Riley to Dell is available in tiny graphic form. There's also the requisite tray of Dubs-jargon—"Splash Bros," etc.

Also, this is a bold logo beneath Curry's branding:

Now, this brings us to a critical impasse. And we must all search ourselves and make a decision.

Because you can only do two things in a post-Stephmoji world: ball into the fetal and accept the approaching nuclear winter. Or shell out $2 and text tiny images depicting another man's idyllic existence.

And if you choose the latter, I get it.

For one, Steph Curry is a basketball boy-god and any argument to the contrary is fundamentally wrong and bad. Secondly, I am not entirely old and joyless, and enjoy using emojis. Thirdly, you are kidding yourself if you think you wouldn't cash out post-haste on a multimillion, personalized text-thingy deal if it landed in your golden little lap. You would drink that milkshake. YOU WOULD DRINK IT UP.

But, on the other hand...damn you, Steph. Damn you forever for this.

Dan is Twitter. Emoji moguls: like 19th century oil barons, but worse.

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