National Basketball Association

NBA: Five Early-Season Overreactions From Opening Week

Published Jun. 30, 2017 6:28 p.m. ET

foxsports

Oct 26, 2016; New Orleans, LA, USA; New Orleans Pelicans forward Anthony Davis (23) is defended by Denver Nuggets forward Wilson Chandler (21) in the first quarter at the Smoothie King Center. Mandatory Credit: Chuck Cook-USA TODAY Sports

We have seen almost every NBA team play their opening game, which means it is time to try to make sense of what we’ve seen in the first week

Obviously, we are only a few games into the NBA season, but some things were still noticed on opening night(s).

Whether they are overacting or not, they won’t actually be judge-able until later on in the year. We will take a look at this article again come the All-Star break, but for now, let’s get into the overreactions.

Note: This article is mainly satire. Some of the points in here are factual and contain real analysis, but the object of the article is to be illogical and fun.

With that in mind, let’s have some fun. Shall we?

October 25, 2016; Oakland, CA, USA; Golden State Warriors guard Stephen Curry (30) reacts during the third quarter against the San Antonio Spurs at Oracle Arena. The Spurs defeated the Warriors 129-100. Mandatory Credit: Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

The Warriors Are Missing The Playoffs

Yep, you heard it here first. The Golden State Warriors with Kevin Durant, Stephen Curry, Klay Thompson and Draymond Green are missing the playoffs.

The proclaimed super team went out onto their homecourt to open up the season and would lose by 29 to the San Antonio Spurs. They are the Spurs, but it isn’t even the fact the Spurs played well, the Warriors sucked.

The Spurs were lethargic and in every aspect and really sucked down low but still won by almost 30. The Warriors looked so lost that they had their first loss of the season a whole two months before last season and first home lost a whole five months before last year. The Warriors suck, they aren’t making the playoffs and might not even win 30 games.

On a serious tone, though, the Warriors looked really bad. It was clearly chemistry and rotation problems which are things that come with time. The team is much different in the bay this year so Kerr will have to adjust as well.

Oct 4, 2016; New Orleans, LA, USA; New Orleans Pelicans forward Anthony Davis (23) shoots over Indiana Pacers forward Thaddeus Young (21) during the first quarter of a game at the Smoothie King Center. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

Anthony Davis Is The Greatest Basketball Player Of All-Time

Did Jordan ever have a line of 50 points, 16 Rebounds, 7 Steals, 4 Blocks and 5 assists? No, didn’t think so. How about LeBron? Kobe? Magic? Nope, never happened.

So by process of elimination, Anthony Davis is the greatest basketball player of all-time. No one can even compare to the Brow at this point, he is the pinnacle of NBA greatness.

Really, though, how do you put up that type of line and still LOSE? Anthony Davis dominated every aspect of basketball last night and his team failed him.

It was nice to see AD back in action after his latest injury, but he needs to get out of New Orleans if this stays. He scores half a century of points and his team still lost, talk about illogical.

The Lakers Are Back To Being The Best Team In The NBA

Oh, baby! They are back, the Lake show is back!!! The Showtime Lakers, who are they? Never heard of him because of this “We Can’t Legally Drink” Lakers team is the best ever Los Angeles squad to grace the hardwood.

Led by Timofey Mozgov, the Lakers have taken the crown from the Cavs as the team to beat in the NBA. Maybe Mozgov just turns everyone into a winner?

The Lakers actually looked good last night though in all honesty. They played team basketball, Mozgov had a solid performance and Russell led the way. I still don’t think the Lakers make the playoffs, but they didn’t play bad whatsoever.

Oct 26, 2016; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid (21) shoots against Oklahoma City Thunder center Steven Adams (12) during the first half at Wells Fargo Center. Mandatory Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Joel Embiid Is Better Than Julius Erving

Mr. Process himself has officially established himself as the greatest 76er of all time. After all, he is the process, so the fact that he dominated should be no surprise.

Erving couldn’t even strap up Embiid’s slides, not even get his water. With just one 22 minute game, Embiid is the 76er GOAT.

All in all, though, Joel Played well, not great. He was extremely inefficient but I believe that was because he needed to feel himself out to see what he actually can and can’t do. I think he was solid on the boards but can improve, the same thing on the defensive end.

Oct 8, 2016; Uncasville, CT, USA; Boston Celtics forward Jaylen Brown (7) goes up for a dunk in the 2nd quarter during a pre-season game at Mohegan Sun Arena. Mandatory Credit: Wendell Cruz-USA TODAY Sports

Jaylen Brown Needs To Join JellyFam

First off, if you don’t know what JellyFam is google “Isaiah Washington” and read up on it. Second off, Jaylen Brown only had one jelly last night but him joining the fam would open up endless nicknames.

Think of all the nicknames he could have: JellyFam Jay, Jelly Jay, JellyFam Jaylen, Jaylen JellyFam Brown, J JellyFam — the possibilities are endless.

What were you favorite, least favorite and best overreaction tidbits from the opening game slate?