National Basketball Association

Man crosses up deer, feeds herd after playing 1-on-1

Published Nov. 15, 2016 3:13 p.m. ET

Dan Carson

You’ve never lived until you’ve sauced a whitetail.

-- Sun Tzu

I won’t profess to have balled out on many other species. I’ve never frozen a seal with my first step or buried a buzzer-beater in the eyes of an American brown bear.

This, I guess, separates me from Kelvin, a.k.a. “COLDGAMEKELV." Kelvin is friendly with a group of local deer in his area, and when he’s not busy feeding his herd by hand, he’s clowning them on the court.

Kelvin posted video of his latest And-1 wildlife tape on Monday, wherein he crosses a poor doe and banks a jumper as it flees.

Noooo. She wasn't ready.

Its okay, though. Because Kelvin has strawberries, and on his watch, everybody eats:

UPDATE: August 3

Kelvin and his deer videos subsequently have caused a nuclear fallout of deer/basketball puns on the Internet.

The offerings range everywhere from perfect to "prosecutable as a war crime." No player was safe:

"CarmelDoe Anthony." I can't even look at you guys.

Dan is on Twitter. Everybody eats. Everybody gets sauced.

Giving any deer the buckets!! pic.twitter.com/QqMyNqx7ZQ
— Kelvin (@COLDGAMEKELV) August 1, 2016

Money's baby mama pull up game too strong pic.twitter.com/It70ebFiFX
— Kelvin (@COLDGAMEKELV) August 2, 2016

Bill Laimdeer locking down on defense pic.twitter.com/NcdhIfSpOm
— Robby Kalland (@RKalland) August 3, 2016

@SnottieDrippen Matthew DellaveDOEva?
— Justin Rowan (@Cavsanada) August 3, 2016

LeFawn James pic.twitter.com/pNtvcIE1mb
— Roc (@hardROClife) August 3, 2016

Hakeem Olajufawn https://t.co/8OGMdCNhNq
— Justin Rowan (@Cavsanada) August 3, 2016

@Cavsanada @Adam_Jacobi @hardROClife Deerick Rose and CarmelDoe Anthony could use another teammate.
— Baxter Allen (@bballen3) August 3, 2016

Stag Van Gundy https://t.co/8OGMdCNhNq
— Justin Rowan (@Cavsanada) August 3, 2016

@SportsNom @Cavsanada giannis AntlerTokounmpo
— Al Ralston (@ARalsto) August 3, 2016

@TheDoctorCarson Deerk Nowitzki
— Jim Harambaugh (@DudeSlater) August 3, 2016

@TheDoctorCarson @TheRealMattKing Doekembe Mutumbo
— Joseph Merkel (@Joseph_Merkel) August 3, 2016

@SnottieDrippen Michael Olowobambi
— Dan Carson (@TheDoctorCarson) August 3, 2016

Doe Speights pic.twitter.com/eOgHED2Mrz
— Hooper's Heaven (@HoopingHeaven) August 3, 2016

Doemantas Sabonis https://t.co/qbNe7khnYi
— Rob Perez (@World_Wide_Wob) August 3, 2016

Heheh...

Rajon Rondoe

wait wait wait...

Chris Does

Wait wait wait...

Russell Westbuck

Bonus Round
Lefawn James https://t.co/em95eiQenU
— Conner Marden (@Conn_Wayne) August 3, 2016

Jimmy Buckler RT @tiabia: LeFawn James RT @Csaleo: Buck Williams RT @iAmTerrace: Deermarcus Cousins pic.twitter.com/7TQxLP07pT
— R. (@RKing__) August 3, 2016

Doe-be Bryant RT @ManOfEveryHour: Deermar Deerozan RT @firefire100: Carmelo Antlery RT @hardROClife: LeFawn James pic.twitter.com/eNktfhx0hu
— DJ Got1 (@ItB_LikeThat) August 3, 2016