National Basketball Association

'Twas the Night Before a Phoenix Suns Christmas

Updated Mar. 5, 2020 12:00 a.m. ET

Fansided, Adam Maynes/FanSided via Valley of the Suns

In the spirit of Christmas, here is Adam Maynes’ 2016 Phoenix Suns version of credited author Clement Clarke Moore’s A Visit from St. Nicholas, or more popularly known as ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.

Feb 6, 2015; Phoenix, AZ, USA; Phoenix Suns mascot Gorilla looks on against the Utah Jazz at US Airways Center. Mandatory Credit: Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

‘Twas the Night Before a Phoenix Suns Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro downtown,

Not a creature was stirring – there was nary a sound;

The banners were hung in the rafters with care,
In hopes that a Championship one soon would be there;

The fans were all dreaming of slam dunks and alley oops,
Of great power forwards, ripping down the tall hoops.
The Gorilla in his ‘kerchief, or maybe a cap,
Had just settled his brain for a long winter’s nap‍—‌

When what to his amazement there arose such a clatter,
The Gorilla jumped up to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters, and…what is a sash?

Outside the moon reflected off the clouds with a glow,
Giving the luster of mid-day to objects below;
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But the Phoenix Suns roster, resilient —‌ no fear.

Earl Watson was teaching, so lively and quick,
The Gorilla knew in a moment that this was no trick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
Watson whistled, and shouted, and call’d them by name:

“Now! Chandler, now! Tucker, now! Set a hard pick,
“On! Bledsoe, on! Booker, get up the court quick;
“We must torch them with threes! We must dunk the ball hard!
“Come now, you great athletes, make the defense stretch far!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When the Suns meet with an obstacle, they mount to the sky;
Jumping ten feet, if even a foot they would do,
The guards all dashed around – the forwards: they flew:

And then in a twinkling, the Gorilla noticed a spark,
The ghosts of Suns greats, they appeared and yelled “Hark!”

“We see what you’re doing, we know the great task,
“Let not your souls tremble, for soon glory, you’ll bask.
“Rest, it is tempting. Giving up? That is too,
“But this is the beginning of something special; no words are more true.”

As the Gorilla drew in his head, and was turning around,
Out to the court came Charles Barkley jumping with a bound:
The ghosts were dressed in uniforms from their head to their foot,
And they efforted the team along, through their magic and input;

New plays were drawn up, with great enthusiasm and will,
The team practiced and practiced, showing their girth of great skill:
Their offense—‌how it twinkled! Their defense: how it smothered,
Suns opponents would soon feel great difficulty when covered;

Watson’s strategy was sound,
The team’s trust unrelenting;
The Gorilla, he grinned,
He knew points would come lots and unending.

Three’s rained down like the monsoon’s Phoenicians all know,
The ground shook and it quaked with each thunderous blow:
Make no mistake, the team practiced with fury,
‘Lo the Gorilla was thrilled, he wants wins in a hurry;

With each sharp pass, the guards saw with great vision,
The Gorilla could see this team’s destiny, and mission;
The ghosts, they drew hard, upon all their hard work,
They’d fill’d the player’s minds; then turn’d with a jerk,

And laying a finger aside of their nose
And giving a nod, out the arena they rose.
They sprung to the sky, to the team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle:

In the distance the Gorilla heard them exclaim, ere they flew out of sight‍—‌

Happy Christmas to All, May Your Franchise’s Future be Bright!