Gerald Green orders hot chocolate from the bench

BY Fansided and Andrew Tobolowsky/Fansided • December 31, 2016

Last night, according to reporter Marc D’Amico, Boston Celtics guard Gerald Green made the unusual move of ordering a hot chocolate during the middle of a game. Not only that, he was really pumped about it:

There’s a lot to unpack here, but I suppose we can start with this: likely, Gerald Green could not have gotten a hot chocolate delivered to himself on the bench had there not been someone willing to deliver it, which suggests an apparatus in place for just this kind of activity. I would have supposed it was pretty rare to eat or drink during the game — non-hydrating category — but if there are hot chocolate delivery persons around you can bet your butt that hot chocolates are being delivered, and not just to Green. What else aren’t they telling us? Is anyone ordering hot wings? Pizza? Will we someday see Spencer Hawes consume an entire steak on the bench?

Green is a nine-year veteran in the league, and has worn a lot of hats, but this year has not been his most impactful. Averaging just over 10 minutes a game, and having played already in the first and second, it was reasonable of him to suppose that he’d have time to drink this hot chocolate, but I like to think he made sure he wouldn’t be going in again before he took the plunge. It doesn’t sound like a relaxing post-workout beverage, and while a vet move, you’d worry about him getting too comfortable. But I’d just like to add that I really feel Gerald here. Once, in my own days as a benchwarmer, I discovered a box of muffins left over from an event in the gym earlier that day, and it was the greatest moment of my life.

The Celtics would go on to beat the Heat by three points. The box score doesn’t say much about Gerald’s contribution, but who can say, really? We don’t have the technology to know what effect his hot chocolate, and the joy with which he received it, might have had on the outcome.  Given how close the game ultimately was, we can assume it was decisive. Unconfirmed results suggest he may have gotten it with whipped cream.

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