Ohio man wants "Buckeye State" changed, embarrasses us all

Ohio man wants "Buckeye State" changed, embarrasses us all

Published Jun. 18, 2012 6:07 p.m. ET

UPDATE - It's a hoax...well played, sir.  Well played.
We wish we were kidding about this, but we're not.
Less than two weeks ago, the following letter appeared in the Findlay, Ohio newspaper, The Courier. We'll let our letter-writer speak for himself to start;

Something in the "Just Ask" column (Page A3, May 29) disturbed me. According to the column, "the Ohio buckeye, Aesculus glabra, bears flowers with both male and female organs on the same tree. It is a monoecious species."

I couldn't believe this, so I did some research and, sure enough, a science website (forestry.about.com) states that "the Ohio buckeye is polygamo-monoecious, bearing both bisexual and male flowers."

The buckeye is our state tree and most of us gladly wear the nickname, "buckeyes." But it is shameful and unacceptable that a bisexual tree should represent us! We are flaunting the Holy Bible!

I urge everyone to contact their state representative and demand legislation removing the buckeye as our state tree and condemning the use of the term "buckeye" as a nickname for residents of Ohio.

Does anyone know if carnations are bisexual?

Jim Flechtner, Findlay

I studied this letter four or five times, trying to figure out the best way to give this a Nelson Muntz-like laugh. Honestly, I don't know where to begin.
So here goes….
IT'S A TREE! The sexual habits of a Buckeye tree are really not relevant, let alone worthy of judgment. If you have enough time to start a mini-campaign to change the state based on this…well, you know the rest.
Somebody was actually outraged over this long enough to put it on paper and send it in to the newspaper.  This makes me weep.
I really hope this guy is from Michigan. Because if he's a genuine Ohioan, I'm embarrassed for all of us.