National Football League

Notable takeaways from Janay Rice's essay on Ray Rice saga

Published Nov. 28, 2014 4:22 p.m. ET

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Former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice was reinstated to the NFL on Friday after winning his appeal of the suspension stemming from his domestic violence incident with now-wife Janay.

The couple has been at the center of this media storm since the incident at an Atlantic City casino in February. The NFL initially suspended Ray Rice for two games in August, and then indefinitely when a second video was leaked on Sept. 8. That led to the Ravens' release of Rice.

Along with Rice's reinstatement Friday, Janay Rice has also spoken out. She colloborated with ESPN.com for an essay in her own words, which dives into her relationship with Ray, and the night of the incident.

Here are choice excepts and things we learned according to Janay Rice's first-person account, which is definitely worth reading in full.

Neither Ray nor Janay remembers what sparked the elevator incident

From the essay: "After the club, our friends from Baltimore, Ray and I decided to go to the late-night restaurant in the casino. Ray and I were bickering. We were drunk and tired and while I know that some people may find it hard to believe, none of the six of us can remember exactly what Ray and I were arguing about. It was that insignificant."

Janay Rice doesn't remember the events from the elevator

"We got into the elevator and what happened inside is still foggy to me. The only thing I know -- and I can't even say I 'remember' because I only know from what Ray has told me -- is that I slapped him again and then he hit me. I remember nothing else from inside the elevator. The next thing I do recall is being in the casino lobby, surrounded by cops."

Janay's mother confronted her about whether this had happened before

"Later, my mother asked me privately did this ever happen before. I understood why she asked, but I was livid -- probably because I was embarrassed. She told me she was not going to allow me to be in a situation like this. She said she wasn't going to tolerate that from either one of us, and that I needed to make a decision about whether I was able to move past it. I just sat there and let her speak because I had no words. She wasn't saying anything wrong. But I was still processing everything."

Janay questioned Ray about his seemingly cold reaction to seeing her lying on the elevator floor

"The video didn't make me rethink our relationship, but I did want more of an explanation from him. I asked him why he left me on the floor like that. I asked him how he felt when he saw that I was unconscious. He told me he was in shock. I asked him what happened when we got out of the elevator. He told me he was terrified because security was there. I asked him how he felt seeing me like that. He said he was thinking, 'What did I just do?' I didn't watch the video again.

I knew that every time I went online, I was going to see a picture of it, a clip of it, something. So I stopped searching for anything. If I saw Ray on his phone for too long, I'd ask him what he was looking at and tell him to stop searching for stories about it."

The incident didn't affect Janay's desire to marry Ray

"We were married March 28, the day after he was indicted for aggravated assault. We didn't choose that day because of the indictment. It just happened to be a Friday and a time when our families could attend our wedding without having to interrupt their work schedules. I didn't understand why that was suspicious to some people. We'd been together seven years and had been engaged for two. What happened that night wasn't going to change the fact that we were going to get married."

Janay says she was a willing participant in the controversial press conference 'script'

"Looking out over the media, I became angry, seeing all the people who had been covering this and adding to the story. I wanted to tell everyone what was really on my mind. When it was my turn to speak, I said I regretted my role in the incident. I know some people disagreed with me publicly apologizing. I'm not saying that what Ray did wasn't wrong. He and I both know it was wrong. It's been made clear to him that it was wrong. But at the same time, who am I to put my hands on somebody? I had already apologized to Ray, and I felt that I should take responsibility for what I did. Even though this followed the Ravens' suggested script, I owned my words."

Ray apparently told Roger Goodell all the details of what happened in the elevator before the second video was released

"Ray told the commissioner, and his colleagues, everything that happened. There was no reason to lie because we knew that there was a video and we assumed the NFL knew what was in it, even though we didn't know whether or not they saw it."

Janay is not too happy with the Ravens

"I was extremely surprised and angry that the Ravens released him, because they know him. They were our family, but I felt like the Ravens completely disregarded the past six years with him. Anytime the Ravens needed someone for a community event, Ray was their man. It seemed like a knee-jerk reaction for publicity reasons. He was very close to Baltimore Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti and general manager Ozzie Newsome. Ozzie would always say, "Ray's my guy," because Ray was Ozzie's pick. I know that Bisciotti loves Ray, even to this day."

Again, go read the whole thing if you have a few minutes. There's a lot more in there about her history with Ray and other thoughts about the scandal.