Slim Thug recruits Dwight Howard

Dwight Howard never went to college, but he’s still getting to

experience the world of recruiting.

The Los Angeles Lakers

href="http://www.foxsportswest.com/nba/los-angeles-lakers/story/Staples-Center-shows-support-for-Dwight-?blockID=915389"

target="_blank">tossed up a billboard to show their love for

Dwight. The Dallas Mavericks are reportedly ready to make him the

href="http://www.foxsportssouthwest.com/nba/dallas-mavericks/story/Does-Howards-end-game-include-the-Maveri?blockID=915759&feedID=3799"

target="_blank">face of the franchise. And the Golden State

Warriors have dispatched Stephen Curry to

href="http://www.foxsportswest.com/nba/los-angeles-lakers/story/Dwightline-Latest-on-Howard-free-agency-?blockID=916591&feedID=3707">help

in their pitch. But none of them have found as creative a niche

as rapper Slim Thug, who is doing his best to woo Howard to the

Rockets in his native Houston using a number of talking points.

On the difficulty of getting along with Kobe Bryant:

On the affordability of real estate, and … umm …:

src="http://static.foxsports.com/content/fscom/img/2013/07/01/070113_Slim_Thug_IA_CH_20130701180736597_0_0.JPG" />

On the availability of good gentlemen’s clubs:

On the issue of child support payments:

On the price of alcohol (plus tip):

On the football-first, minimal-pressure fan base:

And, of course, reckless driving isn’t quite as forbidden in

Texas:

But ah! The plot thickens. How much can we really trust Slim

Thug? Behold:

And sure enough:

Still, that’s all an impressive argument, and he didn’t even

bust out the trump card — the lack of state income tax in

Texas. Your move, Lakers.