National Football League

Tweet tweet: Hamlin's got a ringer

Published Oct. 5, 2010 1:00 a.m. ET

foxsports

From NASCAR driver Denny Hamlin (@DennyHamlin): At lunch with johnny damon.. I think I've got him talked into playing on my softball team tonight.. Haha they won't know what hit em

NASCAR's "If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'" mantra will now bring down the sport of softball. Witness.

From Notre Dame Fighting Irish's Braxston Cave (@BraxstonCave52): I'm thinking that carving a pumpkin is something I need to do in the near future...

Well, if you do it after Christmas, it might raise a few eyebrows.

From NASCAR driver Kevin Harvick (@KevinHarvick): today is one of those days that i am on a rampage and feel like knocking someone out..

It must be a virus -- Brad Keselowski and Carl Edwards seem to be afflicted with those same symptoms. In the meantime, a little road rage might do wonders for NASCAR's track attendance.

From Denver Broncos' Jarvis Moss (@JarvisJaray): Colorodo got the ugliest peeps in amerika. True story

If there ever was a case for twitter incorporating spell check in tweets, here it is. True story.

From Tennessee Titans' Robert Johnson (@Robertjohnson32): Heading to work thinking about alot of things

Twitter is all about sharing your thoughts or ideas. Clearly, Robert hasn't caught on to that yet.

From NASCAR/Indy driver Danica Patrick (@DanicaPatrick): It was a good end to the indycar season! Hopefully I can figure some of this nascar stuff out in the last 6 races!

We love Danica, but does it really matter if she figures things out?

From Seattle Seahawks' Mike Williams (@BMW_USC1): Its a great feeling when you can successfully blame your fart on someone else.

Is this why dogs are the most popular pet choice for Americans?

From Philadelphia Eagles' Jeff Owens (@jeffowens95): The Georgia and Vanderbilt game in Athens will be televised by the SEC Network with kickoff set for 12:21 p.m. ET... We need this win

How bad are things in Athens when Georgia plays Tennessee this Saturday and their fans are hoping for a win against Vandy in two weeks?

From New York Jets' Darrelle Revis (@Revis24): things not to do on a airplane and u guys can give me ur opinions. 1. never fart on a plane

We believe that an airplane is the perfect place to fart as you usually have 300 people to point the finger at -- if there is a baby on board, it makes it even easier.

From New York Jets' Nick Mangold (@nickmangold): Guy in front of me at the grocery store used the "10 items or less" line when he had 27 items. He clearly wins the Seems Dumb [Award] today.

Actually Nick, he's pretty smart. Think about it.

From Florida Gators' Ahmad Black (@AhmadBlack35): Ok so for the record..seeing Tennessee celebrating after they DIDN'T win was hilarious lmao..guys did backflips on the field..WTF lol

That's almost as hilarious as the over-ranked No. 7 Florida Gators getting spanked by Alabama 31-6.

From Philadelphia Eagles' Jeff Owens (@jeffowens95), three tweets:

The weather is changing and I'm not use to this...

I am not ready for the winter...

Where all this rain coming from..

Answers: The weather usually changes every three or four months (and it's been this way forever), we aren't in winter (we're in fall), and the rain comes from the clouds.

From Cincinnati Bearcats' Reuben Johnson (reubenjohnson5): Always will be one step ahead you

This is interesting philosophy from a defensive back. It also probably explains why the Bearcats' secondary stinks -- they are ranked No. 109 out of 120 teams in passing defense.

From NASCAR driver Scott Speed (@scottspeed): Losers always wine about there best, winners go home and *!#* the prom queen

This is just a wild guess, but we're pretty sure Scott wasn't paying attention in a "certain" class throughout his school years.

From NASCAR spotter Brett Griffin (@19spotter): every casino should have an In n Out Burger in it!

We cosign on this. The burger might get a bit moldy after a few days, but when it gets hard, the casino can "Go Green" and recycle the burger as a poker chip.

From Sacramento Mountain Lions' Darrell Strong (@DarrellStrong82): yesssssss!!!!!!! ok my day just got better!

That's it? No explanation? Twitter F-A-I-L.

From Cincinnati Bengals' Chad Ochocinco (@OGOchoCinco), three tweets:

My pregnant pigeon

Im so happy i got my pregnant pigeon back, she's pit bull blue with red eyes, i see why he knocked her up, i brushed her hair, looks smooth

People my pigeon is on nest rest, thank you for your concerns, she's registered at Pet Smart because ill be having a pigeon shower (gifts)

Sooo, is life in Ohio really that boring? And what the heck do you get a bird at her baby shower -- a bunch of statues for the family to crap on? Finally, since when did birds grow hair and not feathers?