National Football League

Porta-potties go upscale at NFL opener

Published Aug. 30, 2013 1:00 a.m. ET

foxsports

When you think Stacy Keibler, what comes to mind? Loooooong legs. “Dancing With The Stars.” George Clooney’s most recent ex. Pro wrestling diva.

All logical answers. Here’s something you don’t think about — portable toilets.

But thanks to the folks at Charmin, now you will.

She will be in Denver on Thursday for the NFL’s opener between the Baltimore Ravens and Denver Broncos, as they present their contribution to making the world — particularly the football tailgater’s world — that much more pleasant with “Charmin Tailgating Potties.” Let Charmin tell the story:

“Charmin is providing 20 beautiful, clean and fresh-smelling portable restrooms that are anything but the much-dreaded porta-potties of tailgate parties from years past. We’ll be providing fans and families with a clean and upscale experience outfitted with attendants, snacks and branded bottled water.”

Attendants? Those regular porta-potties may not be so pleasant, but at least you’re not expected to tip anybody. And don’t take too many of the bottled waters, or you’ll be right back.

This is another component in Charmin’s “Enjoy The Go” campaign. If you’ve seen the commercials, shouldn’t these potties make their first appearance at a Chicago Bears game?

In any case, Charmin promises to get things started with a ribbon cutting and “inaugural flush.” That’s presumably where Keibler comes in.

You break up with Clooney and, next thing you know, you’re co-starring with upscale toilets.