An LA Clippers Christmas Carol: Ghosts of past, present and future
Charles Dicken’s classic story, A Christmas Carol, retold from the perspective of a young LA Clippers fan learning about the franchise.
Dec 10, 2016; Los Angeles, CA, USA; The LA Clippers stand for the National Anthem prior to the game against the New Orleans Pelicans at Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports
The LA Clippers and their fans had a lump of coal fall out of their stockings early this holiday season. After a promising, dominant 14-2 start to the year, the Clippers have struggled more as of late, despite a strong 106-101 win against the San Antonio Spurs. Their once league-leading defense has slipped all the way to 7th. Chris Paul is hobbled with a strained hamstring, and news of Blake Griffin‘s arthroscopic knee surgery and being out at least a month came out of seemingly nowhere.
It feels like deja-vu, and it’s leaving a lot of Clipper fans frustrated this holiday season. It’s easy to lose hope in these trying times. To say, “Ba Humbug,” and start watching football. But I’m here to tell you that things aren’t as bad as they seem right now. And that as Clipper fans, we have a lot to be grateful for.
This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to tell.
The Ghost of Christmas Past
A young Clipper fan sits in the darkness of their room. Red and green light filters in through the window, a visual display of the joy this season is meant to bring. The light falls on a poster hung carefully on the wall: a picture of Blake Griffin viciously dunking on a hapless defender. The young fan sighs as the dancing Christmas lights fail to bring them any joy.
“Another year lost…”
Just then, a gust of cold winter wind sends the illuminated curtains billowing into the room. And there stands a figure. A strange figure – like a child: yet not so like a child as an old man.
“BIIINNNGGGOOO!!!” a voice booms. “Don’t be down, young fan. This is a golden era for LA Clippers basketball. Our organization has come such a long way.” And with that, a long thin arm extends out, offering a hand that were of uncommon strength.
“Come, let me show you.”
As the young fan takes the spirit’s hand, the room spirals into a tunnel of white light, the sound of angelic choirs fill the air, and the two begin to fall.
“When the Clippers moved to Los Angeles in ’84,” shouts the spirit, “the move was not approved by the NBA. So, the league fined then Clipper owner, Donald Sterling, $250 million. Sterling countered by suing the league for 100 million dollars. A bit of a rocky start for the new L.A. team, wouldn’t you say?”
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The singing suddenly ceases, and the two softly touch down in an opulent, immaculately decorated, Greco-American style living room. Seated alone is an elderly man with dyed brown hair. A silk bathrobe hangs open to his waist. And his hands rest clenched on his hard, protruding belly.
“This,” seethes the spirit, “is the afore-mentioned Mr. Sterling. It’s Christmas, 2014. And Mr. Sterling is left to ponder his legacy with the Clippers. He has been banned from the NBA for life, and is out of legal options, but feel no sympathy for him. His racist, cheap skate ways have led him to this place.”
The room melts away, and in an instant, the young fan finds themselves standing on the Clippers’ home court. The seats of the Staples Center are filled with roaring masses, and Chris Paul and Blake Griffin are embracing.
“That same year,” says the spirit, “the Clippers are celebrating on Christmas. They are no longer haunted by Mr. Sterling’s ghostly presence. And they are facing a bright future.”
The voice cuts clear through the roar of the crowd. The young fan finds the spirit, now seated behind a table holding a microphone.
“The Clippers win 100-86 over the Warriors,” grins the spirit. “Stay safe, folks, and have a merry Christmas.” Then, with a wink, “it’s the Law.”
Nov 16, 2016; Los Angeles, CA, USA; LA Clippers owner Steve Balmer cheers on his team in the second half of the game against the Memphis Grizzlies at Staples Center. Grizzlies won 111-107. Mandatory Credit: Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports
The Ghost of Christmas Present
The young fan is again, alone in their room. Confused and frightened, they try to make sense of what had just happened, but the young fan is ripped from their meditation by the sound of their Windows computer turning on behind them. They spin in fear. Upon this office chair, there sat a bald, jolly giant, glorious to see.
“Know me better, man!” exclaims the giant. “I am the spirit of Christmas present. Did you know we are playing the Lakers today?”
The room fades away around them, and suddenly, the duo find themselves seated beneath the basket at Staples Center, a game in full swing.
“So, young fan, why are you so down on our beloved Clippers?”
“Spirit,” says the fan after a moments thought. “I wonder you, of all the beings in the many worlds about us, do you not fear for this team?”
“We are still a very good team, young fan,” laughs the spirit. “The season is a marathon, and we are just getting started. BG and CP3 will be back before you know it.”
“I know,” sighs the fan, “It just all feels so familiar. The Warriors look as good as advertised, and I worry this Clipper team won’t be able to beat them as constructed.”
The Spirit grins, “You may be right, young fan. You may be wrong. Trying to see the future leaves you blind to the wonders of the present. This is a team being led by a generational talent at point guard. Our center was a second-round pick who has become an All-NBA player, and is one of the longest tenured Clippers ever (3rd all-time). We have good leadership at all levels now, and bottom line, this team is darn fun to watch.”
A giant bird like creature in Clippers gear and a pair of red chucks runs past.
“Enjoy this team now,” continues the spirit, “because who knows how much longer they’ll be around for.”
“See, that’s what I mean,” interjects the fan. “CP3 and BG can, and will, opt out of their contracts at the end of the season, and there’s no guarantee they’ll re-sign. How am I supposed to enjoy THIS,” the fan gestures to the court, “when the future is so uncertain?”
“The future is always uncertain, young fan. Your predicament is not unique,” grunts the Spirit, focusing intently on the game.
“What does that even mean?!” Screams the fan, “You’re speaking in generalities when I’m asking you about specific things…”
“Look,” interrupts the Spirit. “If you’re going to talk through the whole game, you are not invited to sit with me.”
And with that, the young fan is sucked backward through their seat, leaving them, again, in their dark room.
But not alone.
Lifting up their eyes, they behold a solemn phantom, draped and hooded, coming like a mist along the ground.
Jan 14, 2015; Portland, OR, USA; LA Clippers owner Steve Ballmer greets Los Angeles Clippers guard Chris Paul (3) after the game against the Portland Trail Blazers at the Moda Center at the Rose Quarter. Mandatory Credit: Steve Dykes-USA TODAY Sports
The Ghost of Christmas Future
The phantom slowly, gravely, silently, approaches. The young fan looks on in horror as the spirit leaves scattered doom and mystery in its wake.
Paralyzed by fear, the young fan can say nothing as the phantom hands them a Clippers roster sheet from the year 2022. They SCREAM in terror as they realize they don’t recognize a single name on the list, “is this team’s future doomed!?!”
The Phantom hands the young fan another sheet of paper. It’s another roster sheet. Same team, same year, but this list is filled with All-Star talent.
“What, what is this?” the fan asks through tears.
The Spirit answers not, but points downward with his hand.
“Are you trying to tell me these are just possible futures?” stammers the fan.
It gives no reply.
“Are you saying that being overly concerned with the future of the Clippers is keeping me from enjoying the amazing product that’s on the floor now?”
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“YES!!!” responds the spirit, exasperated. The Spirit rips off its robes to reveal Steve Ballmer underneath.
“I thought you were the ghost of Christmas present?” asks the fan.
“I’m both,” snaps Mr. Ballmer. “The future is always uncertain, but as long as I own this team, that future can always be bright. I will always invest time, love, and money into this organization.
“I could tell you that I’m confident BG and CP3 will return next year. I could be reassuring, and tell you that we can offer more money to Chris Paul than any other team in the league. A contract worth more than $200 million. But the truth is, the main factor in both his and Griffin’s decisions will be how deep the Clippers make it in the playoffs. And that is part of our uncertain future.
“All I can say to truly reassure you, is that it’s my steady hand on the wheel, leading us into that future.”
And with that, Steve Ballmer shrunk, collapsed and dwindled down, disappearing back into the young fans Windows computer.
The End of It
The LA Clippers are facing an uncertain future, but the ghosts of the team’s past make the present truly a time to cherish.
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As Ralph Lawler said, this is a golden era for Clipper basketball. I wish you and yours a merry Christmas and Happy holidays. And as always, GO CLIPPERS!!!
