English Premier League
Chelsea player ratings following Arsenal humiliation
English Premier League

Chelsea player ratings following Arsenal humiliation

Published Jun. 30, 2017 6:28 p.m. ET

Arsenal thrashed Chelsea on Saturday afternoon in an extremely comfortable 3-0 Premier League win. Here are the Chelsea player ratings.

LONDON, ENGLAND – SEPTEMBER 24: Gary Cahill of Chelsea shows dejection after Arsenal score during the Premier League match between Arsenal and Chelsea at the Emirates Stadium on September 24, 2016 in London, England. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)

Chelsea were destroyed by Arsenal in the first-half. The Gunners then toyed around during the second period to secure a 3-0 win. These Chelsea player ratings will not be pretty…

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Goalkeeper

Thibaut Courtois

GK, Belgium

5Thibaut Courtois was one of two players who turned up to play against Arsenal. He could not have done much to prevent any of Arsenal’s three goals while he made a number of decent saves to prevent the scoreline from getting anymore embarrassing. However, there were also a few questionable clearances and disastrous communication between himself and the defence. In other news, his Spanish is coming along well.Next: Defence

Defence

Branislav Ivanovic

RB, Serbia

3Branislav Ivanovic is like an over-ripe fruit. Yes, it can serve its purpose in some functions, such as being blended into a smoothie. However, it is not particularly satisfying to eat outright. It was another disappointing performance from the stand-in captain.

Gary Cahill

CB, England

2.5Gary Cahill was once again caught fumbling around with the ball. While against Swansea City his legs were essentially swept away beneath him, he wrapped the ball up in a right perfect box for Alexis Sanchez on Saturday. Worryingly, he did not seem to learn that he is quite useless in possession, providing several heart-in-mouth moments throughout the game. Watching him track back for the third Arsenal goal was akin to watching an obese man run through custard.

David Luiz

CB, Brazil

4Alongside Cahill, David Luiz was not as flamboyantly poor. That is to say Luiz was not a complete moron at any isolated point during the contest. Still, his defensive work would not have filled Chelsea fans with confidence and his extra point and a half primarily comes from the fantastic pass he played through to Michy Batshuayi.

Cesar Azpilicueta

LB, Spain

4.5At least Cahill made an effort to get back for Mesut Ozil’s goal. Cesar Azpilicueta just gave up, ambling back towards the Chelsea area. Having said that, in his case, he may have just given up on life altogether after suffering next to these incompetent players for over 12 months.Next: Midfield

Midfield

N'Golo Kante

CDM, France

3This was, by far, N’Golo Kante’s worst performance in over a year. However, we’re rating on absolute, not relative, terms and hence he receives a 3. Frankly, Mesut Ozil and his friends ran circles around the Frenchman.

Nemanja Matic

CM, Serbia

2.5Chelsea fans were questioning why Nemanja Matic was still in the starting line-up. Ninety minutes later, Chelsea fans were questioning why Nemanja Matic was in Chelsea’s Premier League squad. It is hard to think of another player who has hurtled down to Earth at such speed. In fact, it seems as though he landed with such impact that he is now permanently embedded in the Earth’s core.

Cesc Fabregas

MF, Spain

4.5Cesc Fabregas showed none of the creativity, none of the vision and none of the offensive playmaking that he brought to the midweek fixture at Leicester City. He looked cowed by playing on his former home pitch, a man well below the moment and his own standards. He rendered Diego Costa useless by not providing any service to the striker. The best thing to say about him is that he’s not Nemanja Matic.

Eden Hazard

MF, Belgium

3Wait, Eden Hazard played for Chelsea yesterday? This is the first I’m hearing about it. Nope, there it is right on the BBC’s recap. Amazing, I watched that monstrosity for all 90 minutes and had no idea Hazard was on the pitch.

Willian

W, Brazil

3Willian did his usual routine of trying to beat every defender on the pitch five or six times during every dribble. Most days, he’ll beat a few of them once or twice. Yesterday he just ran right into a red and white wall. He had little energy, no focus and no initiative. Whether he’s tired from his pace of play or from the continued stress of his family situation, Antonio Conte needs to allow him to rest mentally and physically before he enters a season-long spiral like Hazard did last year.Next: Attack

Attack

Diego Costa

ST, Spain

6Diego Costa was the only Chelsea player who showed up wanting to do to Arsenal what Chelsea always does to Arsenal. He was fiery, combative and completely alone out there. His frustration boiled over and he took it out on Michael Oliver, who should have understood that he was not the target of Costa’s ire. If Antonio Conte believes in training ground leadership, he and the coaching staff will leave the room and tell Diego “You do what you feel you need to do to them. The doctor will be outside when you’re done.”Next: Substitutes

Substitutes

Marcos Alonso

WB, Spain

N/AAlonso came on for Cesc Fabregas, which enabled a transition to a 3-4-3 once Antonio Conte realized he was past the point of no return. Alonso gave Chelsea some movement on the wing, but the formation was too new, the game too far gone and his teammates too useless for him to have any impact. At least his hair was gorgeous.

Michy Batshuayi

W, Belgium

N/ADavid Luiz’s one good pass (well, Chelsea’s one good pass) put Michy Batshuayi clear through on Petr Cech. It was the kind of situation that a starting striker must always put away. Batshuayi did not, once more highlighting that he still is very raw and not yet at Premier League or Chelsea quality. Even so, he put forth more effort, passion and desire than all but one of the starting XI, so he should be commended for that. He brought pace and desire to a team lacking in both, but alas, he is but one first-year 22-year old.

Pedro

W, Spain

N/APedro’s frenetic movement looked downright refreshing and purposeful compared to the overpaid jersey-stuffers surrounding him. Like Batshuayi, there was little Pedro could do but he deserves credit for not giving in to the prevailing attitude. He acted like he was grateful for the opportunity to play in a Chelsea strip, and is determined to earn more minutes.Next: Manager

Manager

Antonio Conte

Manager, Italy

3The man made no changes after a first half in which Chelsea conceded three goals. Explain that. He then used the last thirty minutes as a practice game to try out different tactics for the future. That is either smart or appalling. I’ll leave that up to you.Next: Chelsea's loan army provides weekend's only highlights

Are we just being massive jerks about this? Fight with us in the comments below!

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