Five athletes who'd be the perfect VP for Donald Trump
Donald Trump will possibly become president.
This might not be the reality you want, but it's one I realize I might have to accept, and I've begun collecting non-perishables accordingly.
Because you never know what's going to happen in a world where a presidential party's front-runner's go-to method of conflict resolution is "he started it." Another we don't know is who Trump will tack on to his ticket if the Republican convention ends with him leaving victorious.
In this vein, I've gone ahead and put together a slate of five potential vice presidents for the Trump ticket from the sports world. Each is chosen for their ability to enhance, complement or counterbalance Donald's unique traits. They are all winners capable of making America a thing that it is again.
Let's start with the obvious choice:
Tom Brady
Cordial friend, Trump supporter and aggressively neutral human on all of society's matters—Tom Brady just makes sense as Trump's second in command.
On a Trump-Brady ticket, Tom would be so much more than just a large-handed counterpoint to Donald. And the groundwork for collaboration is already there. As Trump noted in March, Brady has already provided "enormous help" in his bid for president just by virtue of their friendship.
Brady's gone on the record saying he has no interest in politics, but sometimes you don't get to choose. Sometimes you're the granite-chinned foundation of a jowl-y political morass, and you have to rise up and save the day.
Matt Barnes
Finally, a president and vice-presidential team with an aligned sense of social justice.
Matt Barnes sliding in as Trump's VP is almost too perfect, as most Vice Presidential duties include traveling places to deescalate situations. Also, Trump and the Memphis Grizzlies forward share a preternatural sense for social media, utilizing their platforms for enlightened discourse and the distribution of cogent information.
Just give Barnes the keys to Donald's Twitter and watch the votes roll in.
Bubba Watson
An irrepressible funnyman beloved by all, Bubba Watson's charm is what Trump needs to take the edge off an assault-y campaign.
Adam LaRoche
Make clubhouses great again!
Adam LaRoche is a nuclear family man that could really bring the billionaire business magnate down to earth and make Trump's campaign relatable to the average American multi-millionaire who knows what it's like to have to bring their child to work every day.
Michael Jordan
When your campaign is struggling for funds, bring in the other guy with his name on everything.
Introducing Michael Jordan as his vice president would serve Trump immediately and forcefully. For starters, Jordan's money would give Trump the financial stability to fully fund his own campaign.
Secondly, it would give Trump an invaluable political weapon: the right to Crying Jordan any candidate who enters his sights—a strong strategic asset, and, as Internet ombudsman Russ Bengtson notes, a move that would singlehandedly swing several states in Trump's favor.
This is how you win, Donald.
Let's Make America Cry Again.
Dan is on Twitter. Four more years (of Jordan)!
