Many modern athletes are good hams in front of the camera, either during live action or when cutting commercial endorsements for their favorite type of car, shoe, soft drink or credit card.
But
what about the coaches, specifically those humorless, sleep-deprived
souls from the NFL who pull 18-hour days at the office from July to
January?
Here's a look back at 10 of the best TV spots involving NFL coaches, either active or retired.
Obviously, this isn't a definitive countdown. But it's a good survey of TV's most heralded spots of the last 50 years.
1. Landry, who was roughly 60 years old at the time, delivered his droll lines with excellent comedic timing.
2. This commercial went a long way toward softening Landry's image as a colorless taskmaster/robotic coach in the funny hat.
3. It's a great tribute to the Redskins-Cowboys rivalry of the late 1970s/early 80s, when the franchises combined for three Super Bowl titles and eight divisional crowns from 1977-85.
4. Nearly 30 years later, there's still a universal association with Landry, American Express and the line of, "...Because you never know when you'll be surrounded by Redskins. Howdy."
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1. Madden, who starred in a slew of Miller Lite ads over time, plays it straight as emcee of the "First Lite Beer Open" golf tourney, a spot that features Dick Butkus, Bubba Smith, Bob Uecker, Mickey Spillane, Ben Davidson, Red Auerbach, Billy Martin and Rodney Dangerfield, among others.
2. The chemistry between Smith and Butkus was sublime, with Butkus essentially setting up Bubba for the punchline. It's a wonder the two never co-opted a sitcom pilot during the 80s.
Check that. Butkus and Smith starred in Half Nelson ... which lasted all of six episodes.
3. Uecker actually strikes the ball well underwater — although it's fair to wonder if the stunt coordinator had an undetectable string on the ball upon contact. (Not unlike Adam Sandler's maniacal swings in Happy Gilmore.)
4. Regarding Dangerfield's role in this spot, it's hard to tell if he's playing "Rodney Dangerfield" ... or reprising his role as "Al Czervik" of Caddyshack fame.
Either way, his epic weather vane/flood drain hole-in-one to clinch the tourney was something to behold.
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1. OK, so maybe Mora doesn't officially "act" in this spot, but the excerpts from his best-known rant of "Playoffs???" make for wonderful television.
2. The Coors Light Guys (the same foursome throughout the run of press conference-inspired ads) expertly get under Mora's skin, while promoting a playoffs party that promises girls, a big-screen TV, Coors Light and, of course, a game of "touch football with the neighbors."
3. Mora mentions "Playoffs???!!!!" six times in the 30-second spot. Awesome.
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1. Dungy outperforms the other actors in the spot, emphatically living and dying with every success and failure of Helmet-Wearing Guy, at the end of his date.
2. The spot strikes a humor chord at least three or four times, with Dungy scoring acting points with his closing line of "You're killing us."
3. At the time of this commercial, Peyton Manning was obsessively poring over every detail of the Colts offense; so in one respect, it's good to see Dungy stretching his wings as an actual play-caller.
4. At the :07 mark, check out the chops of Helmet-Wearing Guy, as he improvises off Dungy's line of, "You look fantastic" — throwing in a REALLY into the mix.
5. It was odd to see Helmet-Wearing Guy attempt a kiss while donning the helmet ... but no weirder than Ricky Williams conducting media interviews with his helmet on during the awkward early years with the Saints.
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1. You can never go wrong with opera music to properly capture the intensity of a fantasy football draft.
2. Coach Jim Mora makes a Skype-like cameo just before Mariucci grabs Larry Fitzgerald with his cherished pick, presumably a first- or second-rounder. Mora's son, Jim Mora Jr., is actually on site — in the stadium bowels — with Green and Mooch.
3. Interestingly, Mariucci didn't have a chance to steal Fitzgerald from Green during the real NFL draft in 2004, as the Cardinals were three slots ahead of the Lions in Round 1.
Detroit, however, gets credit for bilking Cleveland out of an extra second-rounder, moving from 6th to 7th overall in Round 1 — arguably the greatest draft-day trade of Matt Millen's tenure with the Lions.
4. Mariucci and Green both earn high marks for their subtle, yet emotional performances in non-speaking roles.
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1. Jerry Stiller (of Seinfeld and King Of Queens) assumes the "Vince Lombardi" role in these Nike spots ... potentially laying the groundwork for Dan Lauria (the dad from The Wonder Years) to play Lombardi on Broadway a decade later.
2. Technically, this spot doesn't merit mention in the countdown, since a highly skilled actor plays the lead. But then again, how many other national commercials can you name, where an NFL coach — from George Halas to Don Shula — gets parodied for pop culture?
Bottom line: More than 45 years after his second Super Bowl title with Green Bay, Lombardi still resonates as one of pro football's most recognizable icons.
3. Stiller's halting way of delivering Lombardi lines makes for great TV, especially when the coach feels obligated to track down Barry Sanders' shoe after scoring yet another touchdown.
4. It's fair to wonder if the real Lombardi would flourish in today's sophisticated NFL culture, where even the simplest play call requires an eight-second introduction.
But then again, Lombardi didn't need a lot of mumbo-jumbo to effectively reach his cadre of assistants: "Take my advice: Give the ball to Sanders!"
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1. Give the ad wizards at Coors Light props for building a successful campaign around the draft — a preposterous notion just a few years prior.
2. Coach Ditka is wearing a sleeveless sweater at the dream-sequence party, an homage to his sweater collection with the Bears from the late 1980s. The Coors Light guys are all decked out in red, white and blue sweaters — with sleeves.
3. If you can get past Ditka and the cheerleaders at the :12 mark, you'll notice the portrait of Da Coach strategically placed above the fireplace.
4. In the next shot, the Coors Light guys take mustache-grooming cues from the coach. Behind the foursome, it's another portrait of men in 1980s sweaters. (The eerie setting reminds one of the cast portrait from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, in advance of Season 7.)
5. Ditka certainly played to his strengths in this spot, similar to his hilarious guest appearance on L.A. Law, when a plaintiff sued Da Coach for his role in the Bears' sideways season of 1989 — after the club won 56 games (including the playoffs) and a Super Bowl title from 1985-88.
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1. Of all the Coors Light "press conference" ads, this might be the most underrated of the bunch. Perhaps it's because the typically low-key Crennel enjoys his time on the podium — and isn't screaming at the media.
2. Crennel's soothing, one-word response to the question of, "Did you just say the 'Cold-Activated' cans told you they were happy?" is priceless.
Plus, it feels like Crennel was actually in the room with the Coors Light Guys, during filming.
3. A good commercial always ends on a high note; and Crennel exits stage left with a memorable, but random tagline of, "Generally, there's hoopla involved."
On the flip side ...
1. Coach Parcells uses sarcasm and venomous glares to combat the seemingly inane questions from the Coors Light Guys and media, at large.
2. On the final question, notice how Bigfoot is reluctantly attending the press conference, as if he were pulled away from the shoot of a highly lucrative TV spot for Jack Links beef jerky. Good stuff!
Are Bigfoot and Sasquatch in the same family?
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1. This commercial actually features an NFL head coach during his playing days, as Harbaugh serves as the unwitting surgical pawn in a "This Is SportsCenter" bit with Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann.
2. Harbaugh connects on his only line: "Aren't I supposed to be asleep for this?"
3. For a 30-second spot, Olbermann nails his portrayal of a "TV-friendly" doctor ... meaning he's in line to someday open a medicated-shampoo commercial with the famous line: "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV."
4. In the pantheon of "This Is SportsCenter" spots, this one probably doesn't resonate with the masses, long term. However, given the basic premise and modest production values, it's a good effort all around.
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1. We could have taken the easy route here, ending the countdown with a flurry of good, but not great Coors Light spots, starring the combustible Dennis Green.
Instead, we'll reward a commercial that's so bad, so archaic ... that it makes for gripping television.
2. This bit opens like an American Express ad ("Do you know me? I've been winning pro football games for years.") ... made for local municipal cable in the early 1980s. Hilarious!
3. In today's lightning-fast, social-media world, you would never see a head coach pick the winners and losers of other games on the NFL docket. And yet, Coach Knox had the marbles to execute the feat.
4. On a side note, it has to be an NFL record for Knox to be the head guy for 22 straight seasons — with four franchises (if you count the Rams twice).
5. As someone who proudly owned a Sports Illustrated phone during the 1980s ... I'm pretty sure Knox's lone prop choice was an actual SI phone — or cheap knock-off.
Which brings us to this: How many takes did Knox need to catch the phone with two hands ... while nailing his final tagline? This is a classic commercial that deserves airplay to this day.
6. As a bonus, YouTube viewers are treated to a Walter Mondale ad, attempting to thwart President Ronald Reagan's re-election bid in 1984.
Suffice to say, Mondale didn't carry Washington state that November.
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