Baker Mayfield

What Baker Mayfield Is Really Saying

December 21, 2020

By Charlotte Wilder
FOX Sports columnist

This is a strange sentence to write, but the Browns are good. Like, legitimately good. Like, a-10-win-team-for-the-first-time-since-2007 good.

Quarterback Baker Mayfield has been on fire — on Sunday he went 27-of-32 for an 84.4 completion percentage, beating the record Kelly Holcomb set for Cleveland in 2003. Remember Kelly Holcomb? Neither do I. No offense, Kelly.

A lot of people have criticized Mayfield over the years, saying he’s too brash, acts in too many commercials, and holds grudges for too long, given that he hadn’t been the savior Cleveland was hoping for.

But under first-year head coach Kevin Stefanski this year, Mayfield seems to be proving that he’s the real deal.

Which means he gets to have some fun.

And "fun" in 2020 means messing around on Zoom.

After wins, Mayfield has been slipping quotes into his postgame virtual pressers (the fact that this is happening through a computer screen somehow makes it both funnier and simultaneously deeply depressing).

He’s dipped into rap lyrics, quoting Lil Wayne…

...and DMX:

He’s paid homage to the Super Mario Bros...

...and Dwight Schrute from The Office:

And most recently gave a nod to the greatest trio of all time, TLC:

It’s flown a little under the radar. The Browns tweet about it, and a few outlets have noticed, but even Chad Johnson, a big Mayfield fan, didn’t realize Mayfield was doing this.

Perhaps this little game is the incentive Mayfield needs to stop throwing interceptions. He’s certainly gotten his act together, stats-wise, since he started giving us these gifts. 

I’m a big proponent of bits, and this is one of the best I’ve seen from an athlete. There’s something very satisfying about an ongoing series — it gives fans (and me) something to look forward to.

What’s he gonna choose next?

I have some ideas.

Please watch that to hear all my suggestions (especially Baker, if you're reading), but here are the key takeaways — he needs to quote Phil Collins (and do the air drums), as well as Mad Men. Pete Campbell saying, "Not great, Bob!" is one of the simplest and greatest lines in television history.

He could also use Jay Z to defend his acting in commercials: "I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man."

But I also think Mayfield should get a little existential with it. Why limit himself to pop culture?

Hit us with some Sartre if he’s asked about the Browns’ 10-win season.

"Life begins on the other side of despair."

And if the Browns lose in the first round of the playoffs after this amazing season?

"Through me you go into a city of weeping; through me you go into eternal pain; through me you go amongst the lost people." – Dante Alighieri, from his Inferno 

Please use these, Baker.

All I ask is that you give me credit.

As the saying goes, "'''You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.' – Wayne Gretzky' – Michael Scott' – Charlotte Wilder,' – Baker Mayfield."

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