UPDATE: March 26, 2:20 p.m. ET
Katt Williams spoke onstage at the Barclay's Center Friday night about his fight with a 17-year-old after a soccer game last weekend.
Now, due to the implicit nature of standup comedy (it's a performance), nothing Williams says onstage can be taken as fact or even his actual opinion on real-life events. But Williams seemed determined to get across his side of the story during his act.
You can watch video of Williams' explanation at TMZ (warning: definitely NSFW work). But here's a transcript of the relevant parts.
According to Katt, Walsh (the teenager) had been talking trash during the game, and he didn't think the child was as young as he was. And Katt doesn't think he lost the fight, for whatever reason:
The leader of their [soccer] team is this [expletive] who turns out later to be 27 and in third grade...I thought the [expletive] was 19 the whole time, because...[he] was smoking a cigarette like me...and me and him was the only people on the soccer courts that was cussing.
[...]
But he was saying [expletive] all game. I was like 'I like this little boy. He got heart.' He talked [expletive] about me all game...but as the game goes on I realize, this feels like a setup.
Williams says Walsh said something "slick" to him at the end of the game, and he invited Walsh around the corner to settle it.
"So when we go around this corner, I'm asking all the pertinent questions, 'Do you have a mother? Do you have a father? Where are they?' All these people in the hood...and not one is coming to say 'Katt, don't knock this baby out.' I'm looking at all their faces, and everyone is looking at me like 'Knock that [expletive] out. He is a menace to the community.'
[...]
If you watch that video and really think that I was getting choked out by a strong [expletive] teenager, why don't you catch me in public...and put your little fragile [expletive] arm around my neck and why don't you choke me to sleep?"
Let it never be said that Katt Williams took an L softly and without protest.
---End of Update---
Part-time comedian and full-time L-farmer Katt Williams harvested another blue ribbon loss this weekend after attempting to fight a minor only to be choked out immediately by said minor.
Footage of the fight surfaced on Tuesday morning. The teen who subdued Williams is Luke Walsh, a 17-year-old Atlanta resident and former wrestler.
In an interview with the Daily Mail, Walsh told his side of the story of the whole incident, which was captured on video.
"We were playing a game of soccer and I just thought it was a soccer game, but stuff happens in sports," Walsh said.
"He took me over to a secluded area and asked me to hit him. And I was like 'I'm not just going to hit you. You want your one with me? Square up.' And then he sucker-punched me, so I did what I did...I tried to shake his hand [afterward] and he was like, 'Back off me, little boy.'"
"I don't know if he was sour, but it is what it is," Walsh said. "My face is a little swoll, but I just got hit. I'm not hurting."
And that's how you get washed and laundered by a teenager, kids. Also: never do bath salts. Not even once.
Dan is on Twitter. One day we'll pave our roads with the Katt Williams' Ls.
