Man makes history by devouring 3-foot, 5-pound 'Anaconda' burrito
Feel free to read the following in a movie-narrator voice: "Pablo Martinez is: The Anaconda Killer."
Now that we have that out of the way, I can confirm this statement's veracity: This man took down one of the most obscenely gigantic burritos ever concocted, and did it in the time it takes most of us to finish a regular burrito bowl.
The beast in question is the "Anaconda," a three-foot, five-and-a-half pound burrito offered on the menu at Taqueria Yarelis in Fresno, California.
Typically cut up and served to parties of four or more, the Anaconda burrito has triumphed over all who have tried to date to conquer its caloric Kilimanjaro to date. That is, until Martinez, the 20th-ranked competitive eater in the world, gave it a whirl.
"Burritos are my specialty," Martinez said before tackling the challenge. "So hopefully I won't have a problem. But this one's pretty long. This is the longest burrito I've done."
Martinez didn't just finish it. He took it down in 13 minutes and eight seconds.
Prettay, prettay good.
I will refrain now from imagining the wreckage a five-pound burrito leaves of one's innards after such a time trial, but hopefully it was worth the free food (the Anaconda runs $23, but free if you finish it solo) and the notoriety.
Walk it off, Martinez. And I respect the Kevin Durant shoulder-shimmy you've adopted for digestion. That's good form.
Dan is on Twitter. He no longer thinks he's a hardass for finishing two Chipotle burritos in one sitting.
