Here's what a presidential debate between The Rock and Donald Trump would sound like
With Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson telling GQ that a presidential run in 2020 is a possibility, we imagined what a possible debate between Johnson and Donald Trump would look (and sound like).
Moderator: Welcome to the 2020 presidential debate at Hofstra University. Before we start, we ask the audience not to cheer, clap or make noise during the debate. We want to give both candidates ample time to respond to questions and we have a lot to get to. Interruptions will only slow us down. Now let’s meet the candidates. First, the president of the United States, Donald J. Trump.
Trump: Thank you. Thank you. It’s good to be here even though you’re part of the dishonest media and the size of the crowd outside cheering me on won't be show on TV.
Moderator: Next, we have President Trump's opponent, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
Johnson: FINALLY, THE ROCK HAS COME BACK … TO HOFSTRA UNIVERSITY.
Moderator: Mr. President, do you think you have a better temperament for the office than your opponent?
Trump: Big league. Listen, nobody has a better temperament than Donald Trump, believe me. This guy hits opponents with chairs for a living. What kind of temperament is that?
Johnson: Um, what I did was sports entertainment. Do you know what sports entertainment is, Mr. President?
Trump: As a matter of fact…
Johnson: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU KNOW!
Trump: Do you believe this guy?
Johnson: Listen, Jabroni. Everybody -- and the Rock means EVERYBODY -- loves The Rock. I am the People’s Champion. I’ve got millions … and millions of people chanting my name.
Moderator: Quite, please. Quite, please. We ask that the audience not cheer during the debate.
Trump: What do you know about creating jobs, anyway?
Johnson: Have you seen my IMDB page? I’ve had more jobs than anyone in history.
Trump: Well, you have no experience in politics. You're just a failing actor.
Johnson: What did you just say, Jabroni?
Trump: You're a lightweight in the entertainment industry. I'm here to build a wall and have Mexico pay for it.
Johnson: Listen, you may have used that wall line to help pull off a victory against Hillary Clinton -- even though you lost the popular vote.
Trump:
Johnson: But you know that when you go one-on-one against The Great One, you have no chance.
Trump: Please. You’d be a total disaster as President. Everyone knows you’re the most overrated wrestler in history. Donald Trump is a WWE Hall of Famer and you’re not. You’re a loser.
Johnson: The Rock is not a loser. The Rock is the most electrifying man in sports entertainment. Not only that, roody poo, but The Rock is a 10-time World Champion.
Trump: Wrong.
Johnson: And The Rock was named People's Sexiest Man of the Year in 2016.
Trump: Wrong.
Moderator: Mr. President, those are actually both facts.
Trump: Listen, it’s fake news. Fake news. The dishonest media portrays this guy as some sort of hero. He’s on every magazine cover, television show, all over the Internet. And for what? Being a nice, fun guy?
Johnson: The Rock isn’t just a nice, fun guy. He cares about the people. He will give all Americans health insurance.
Trump: Only a total loser would do that. Believe me, the United States needs to be winning again. We lost at everything under Obama. We need to win. You lost to Stone Cold Steve Austin millions of times in your life. What would you even now about defeating ISIS?
Johnson: I know that the United States needs to put boots to asses. I know that the United States is great, was great and will always be great.
Trump: Please. You care more about pie than the United State of America.
Johnson: At least I don't go around grabbing pie.
Trump: Why are we even having this debate? You aren’t even American. You were born in Hawaii. Do you have a birth certificate?
Johnson: I got a birth certificate all right. And you know what I’m gonna do with it? I’m gonna shine it up real good. I’m gonna make it shinier than your orange skin. And then I’m gonna turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass. If you smell … what The Rock … Is cookin’.
Moderator: And that concludes the 2020 presidential debate.
