An Oklahoma man gave an insane local news interview to a local news reporter named Joleen Chaney because this is what the Internet exists for -- crazy ass people talking to reporters on local news.
Watch this interview and then you can read my five favorite things about this interview:
1. Sir John Michael lives in a bus and likes to nude sunbathe.
Oh, and he also likes to wear bearskin rug vests and women's leggings. Who doesn't? And lest we forget he goes by the name Sir John Michael. Has he been knighted? Is this like Oklahoma's version of King Ralph?
2. Yet, amazingly, Sir John Michael wasn't the guy getting busted for pot cultivation.
I had to watch this interview twice to realize that Sir John Michael is just a witness here.
I'm not an expert on pot cultivation, but if I had to choose who to live on my land and not draw attention to me, I'm not picking Sir John Michael.
3. "If life gives you lemons, fuck life." Sir John Michael said.
I just...
I mean, you see this hippie guy and you think, this dude is pretty chill. He's wearing women's underwear and leggings, he lives on a bus, he likes to nude sunbathe, he's probably 45 years old and he looks 28, I mean, he's probably not that bitter at life. And then he just drops that line and shows you you've got him all wrong.
I don't even know what to believe about life anymore.
4. Joleen. Chaney.
Good lord.
Joleen appears to be wearing an entire leather outfit. When she's not doing local news stories is she Catwoman?
Most of y'all haven't even read this far, you're too busy Googling Joleen Chaney to see if she's single and willing to go see "Fifty Shades of Grey," with you this weekend.
She has to be the hottest mom in Oklahoma.
5. "It happens to be my mother and my ex-wife, why I live out here."
This story left me wanting so much more.
Why is Sir John Michael living on a school bus in Oklahoma sunbathing nude and twirling his ponytail during SWAT team raids?
What happened with his mom and his wife? I want more. More, more.
I also kind of want Sir John Michael to be the next Bachelor.
