You’re going to love it when Roman Reigns wins the WWE Universal Championship soon. You’ll love it because he rules. Here’s five reasons why Reigns is the best WWE has to offer.
Since Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns — the three members of The Shield that wreaked havoc over the WWE from late 2013 to after WrestleMania XXX in 2014 — each has become a different type of star in the company.
For Rollins, he established himself as the best of the group by aligning with The Authority, winning a Money in the Bank Ladder Match and the WWE World Championship at WrestleMania 31. Ambrose became the beloved Lunatic Fringe you see today with a surprising world title reign (after winning a MITB Ladder Match and then beating Rollins, too) along with a current run with the Intercontinental Championship.
As for Roman Reigns, he’s had the best run of any of them.
How so? Because Roman Reigns is the biggest star in WWE today. (Yes, even bigger than Zack Ryder or Mojo Rawley.)
To prove that The Big Dog is the top man in the company, we laid out a list of five reasons as to why nobody does it better than Roman Reigns in WWE today.
Credit: WWE.com
Reason No. 5 as to why Roman Reigns is the best in WWE: Because of his incredible shirts he wears to the ring
Have you seen Reigns’ latest shirt? It’s fantastic.
“From Ashes to Empire” makes absolutely no sense, but it’s wonderful anyway. Personally, I think it’s the red trim that really makes it pop. You see, because Reigns is going from nothing and he’s going to be a legacy as the WWE Universal Champion someday very soon.
Really makes you think, right?
“Roman Reigns’ new shirt is black with red trim and the Universal Championship title belt is … oh, man!”
(This only works for Roman Reigns of course. Why? Because John Cena is wearing the colors of the New York Knicks and he’ll always be closer to a title than they ever will be again, even when he’s 60 years old and can’t wrestle anymore.)
Credit: WWE.com
Reason No. 4 as to why Roman Reigns is the best in WWE: Because his logo looks like the end of a claw machine
I have a confession: this reason is personal (and probably relates to you, too).
When I was a kid, whenever my mother would take me to the local grocery store, there was always a claw machine out near the sliding exit doors.
I never won an award from that machine or any machine similar to it, but whenever I see Roman Reigns’ logo on his shirts that almost all look the same, I think back and smile.
The logo — which is two R’s — is solid. It’s noticeable that all three members of The Shield have signature logos that include the first initials of their first and last names.
When it’s put on a shirt of Reigns, it makes me think back to that ol’ claw machine and brings back the hope of winning a teddy bear for a girl in fifth grade that probably didn’t like you, but you liked her.
MIAMI, FL- SEPTEMBER 01: Roman Reigns looks on during the WWE Smackdown on September 1, 2015 at the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Ron ElkmanSports Imagery/Getty Images)
Reason No. 3 as to why Roman Reigns is the best in WWE: Because as much as you boo him, one of your favorite recent big moments was his
Hey, remember when Roman Reigns won the WWE World Championship?
Wait, hold on. That happened three times in the span of six months.
Remember when Roman Reigns defeated Sheamus and actually held the gold for longer than five minutes?
You remember because it was the greatest moment in the history of ever.
At the 2015 edition of Survivor Series, Roman Reigns won a tournament to become the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion after Seth Rollins went down with a major knee injury in an overseas tour and had to vacant the title.
Unfortunately for Reigns, that title reign lasted just over five minutes because Sheamus cashed in his Money in the Bank contract after Reigns won the title and stole the championship from Reigns.
It took a few weeks, but Reigns finally got one shot at the gold and delivered. It was just winning the title. It was winning the title in the city where he was booed out of just 11 months prior at the 2015 Royal Rumble pay-per-view in Philadelphia.
In terms of great championship moments in recent times with WWE, this one ranks at the top of the list because basically everyone in the arena wanted to see Reigns win the title and that’s exactly what happened.
MIAMI, FL- SEPTEMBER 01: Roman Reigns looks on during the WWE Smackdown on September 1, 2015 at the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Ron ElkmanSports Imagery/Getty Images)
Reason No. 2 as to why Roman Reigns is the best in WWE: Because Vince McMahon says he is
Vince McMahon is always right.
Always.
(Well, maybe except the only time he allowed his son-in-law to fornicate with a mannequin on live television. Or maybe that one time he made the greatest women’s wrestler in the company’s history bark like a dog in front of the world. But other than that, though!)
So, when he says Roman Reigns will be the face of his company, then that’s exactly what’s going to happen and you’re going to deal with it because Vince is always right.
Look at WrestleMania XIX for example. McMahon fought Hulk Hogan in black jeans because 1) He was showing us who the future of his company would be just 14 years too early and 2) he created Hulkamania. He said he did, so he did.
And, he’s basically claimed Reigns as his guy and future leader of WWE, so obviously everyone is going to love him and cheer for him for decades to come because Vince is always right and would never make a bad decision as The Genetic Jackhammer.
Credit: WWE.com
The top reason as to why Roman Reigns is WWE’s best to offer: He’s the Samoan John Cena
I know what you’re thinking.
“How can Reigns be John Cena? Cena can actually cut a promo on the microphone!”
OK, stop yelling at me. You’re right.
But, can he wrestle though? No, no he can’t. It’s the “Five Moves of Doom”, a cheesy T-shirt, a run to the ring and blah, blah, blah.
Roman Reigns can wrestle. And doesn’t feel pain. And sounds like a coyote to signal the end for his opponent.
So, he’s basically Cena in the ring with the ability to take any punch/kick/chair/steel pipe thrown at him, but has the promo ability of a contestant on Tough Enough that doesn’t make it out of the first episode.
However, he’s probably going to win 17 world championships to break Cena and Ric Flair’s record, he’s probably going to make a trillion dollars making five more versions of The Marine, and he’s going to go down as one of the greatest to ever do it.
When you’re Vince McMahon’s chosen one, it’s impossible to fail.
Unless it’s a drug test.
(In case you haven’t figured it out yet, this list was straight satire, but if you thought it was real, I apologize to you, confused Roman Reigns fan. It’s not your fault.)
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