This episode was built up to be a let down from the previews and the whole "to be continued" nonsense, so I was fully expecting it to be way overhyped. Instead, and maybe it's the exhaustion, I don't know, but this episode exceeded expectations and was phenomenal.
1. We open with a rose ceremony, where Ben pulls Olivia aside to ask why everyone hates her. She says it's because her confidence is intimidating, and she "likes to read and think, and talk about smart things."
2. Ben is impressed enough with this explanation that Olivia gets to stay, and we say goodbye to Jen -- a person who I completely forgot was still on this show. I'm just glad that I now know the names of everyone who is left.
3. I need the remaining twin to go home immediately. The twin gimmick is over, and she is awful.
4. The group is going to the Bahamas! I'm going there on a college spring break cruise next month, so it counts as a location on the white trash road trip!
5. In one of the more shocking events this season, the girls are able to tell the difference between "reel" and "real" on Caila's one-on-one date card.
6. Leah is having a meltdown about not getting a one-on-one. This should've been our hint that she was about to pull some super shady shit.
7. Ben and Caila are so incredibly boring together. They catch a fish and then have a dinner conversation that makes absolutely zero sense. She's falling in love with him but maybe she can't completely fall in love with anyone, and she might break his heart.
8. Moral of their date story, Caila has "reeled" him in on the chase, and guys LOVE the chase. Smart move for hip tat. She gets a rose.
9. Group date time! Leah, Lauren B., Becca, Lauren H., Amanda, and JoJo. They visit a place that is numero uno on my bucket list, PIG ISLAND!
10. JoJo explains it in the best way possible, "It was like being in a bar in Dallas, just pigs everywhere." PREACH.
11. Ben tries to talk to Leah who acts all pouty and says she's okay. Guys, have you not learned that when a girl says "I'm okay," she is not, in fact, okay? Be smarter, even if she's being annoying.
12. Fast forward to their little cocktail date party where Leah spends her time telling Ben that maybe some people in the house are different than when they're around him. THIS NEVER WORKS OUT. Also, she picked Lauren B. Girl, that chick has already won this. Should have gone with Emily.
13. When confronted by the girls, she flat out lies. Her ability to seem perfectly cool, calm, and collected while doing that is nothing short of psychotic.
14. Amanda gets the group date rose, basically by default. Doooonnn'ttt caaarreeee.
15. Leah decides she's going to pull a Clare and sneak off for more time. What she should've done was offer up a beach walk. Instead she decides to throw Lauren B. under the bus again, and he sends her home. BYE feLEAH! (I'll see myself out.)
16. TWO-ON-ONE TIME with Olivia and Emily! When they left for this, I thought there was no chance in hell Emily wasn't going back to save her twin from unemployment. What do I know?
17. I need Emily to care less about Olivia. It's insane. Her level of obsessed with someone who barely knows she exists is truly incredible.
18. Olivia gets one-on-one time first on a private island. She digs her cankles into the sand to hide them. Smart play. She also tells Ben that "deep intellectual things are her jam." GIRL, this guy has like half a brain.
19. Emily, who is dumber than dirt, is the complete 180 to Olivia. She tries so hard to get him to kiss her, and only succeeds in getting him to move her hair. Rough day.
20. Ben pulls Olivia off to the side and sends her home. We see Olivia being left on the island as Emily and Ben float away. HE LEFT HER ON THE ISLAND. Total savage move, and even though I'm team Olivia, it was fantastic television.
21. That night Ben decides he "doesn't have it in him to have a cocktail party." I'm so sorry, Ben. Your job of making out on TV, chilling on private islands, and handing out flowers seems exhausting.
22. Lauren H. goes home, because DUH. She seems like a nice girl so I'm sure she'll be fine.
23. Next week looks like absolute bananaland. ALL of the meltdowns coming, but it won't be the same without my girl Olivia, which means JoJo or Lauren B. has this all but locked up.
Next week, as I've been promising, we'll do periscopes and live tweeting. Follow me @MattieLouOKTC.
