Santa gifts for Cardinals: From dancing lessons to contract extensions
ST. LOUIS -- It's almost Christmas and we know what makes the obvious gift for the Cardinals. That would be a season of full health.
While that is out of even Santa's control, there are presents that would be easier for the big man to deliver. Here goes:
Matt Carpenter: Another season in the leadoff spot. Why mess with something that worked so well in 2014?
Matt Adams: Dancing lessons. The way he hopped around first base after his home run off Clayton Kershaw, you know he could use them.
Jon Jay: The latest pair of Nike super shoes to add to his collection. He owns so many pairs of sneakers that he wouldn't tell me how many last year.
Jason Heyward: A standing ovation on Opening Day. That one should be automatic.
Yadier Molina: A gold record for his record company. To go with his seven Gold Gloves, of course.
Adam Wainwright: A 95-mph fastball. Then he might not have to settle for a second- or-third place finish in the Cy Young voting.
Lance Lynn: A contract extension. If the Cardinals don't lock him up before Opening Day, they'll be looking to trade him by this time next year.
Kolten Wong: Approval from Ozzie Smith to perform a back flip on Opening Day. Wong doesn't need the ability to do one, as he's been proving since college.
Randy Choate: A season without having to face a right-handed hitter with the game on the line. Apparently, the Cardinals have indicated they will try their best to deliver on this one.
Trevor Rosenthal: A setup man as reliable as was Pat Neshek. Good luck, Jordan Walden.
Jhonny Peralta: 157 games, 21 homers and 75 RBIs. The Cardinals would take those numbers again, along with the same steady defense.
Matt Holliday: A first baseman's mitt. Hey, what could it hurt to learn another position?
John Lackey: A shutout, because it's been a while. He has eight in his career, but none since 2009.
Peter Bourjos: 450 plate appearances. Somehow.
Carlos Martinez: Umpires who call strikes on borderline pitches.
Marco Gonzales: A season of playing with just one team. Last year, he went from Florida to Springfield to Memphis to St. Louis to Memphis to St. Louis. And that's not including the road trips he made with all those teams.
Tony Cruz: A season with fewer games played than last season, only because that would result in Molina catching more than he did in 2014.
Michael Wacha: A season of starts without a rain delay. He dealt with five last season, and that was before June.
Kevin Siegrist: One mile per hour on his fastball. That's all he lost in his second season, even though it seemed like more.
Randal Grichuk: A few more walks. He averaged only one per 23.2 plate appearances as a rookie, fewer even than Adams.
Stephen Piscotty: A call-up to the big leagues. He rated one last season.
Seth Maness: A chance to show off his athleticism in a game. Watch him shag balls in batting practice and you'd think he was an outfielder.
Mike Matheny: A year without being criticized. But as he knows, that's less likely than a year without one of these silly Santa columns.
You can follow Stan McNeal on Twitter at @StanMcNeal or email him at stanmcneal@gmail.com.
