I’m beyond excited to share my experiences with Phiten gear with someone. I’ve been holding it inside for far too long. I completely forgot how badly I wanted to talk about it. Then, like magic, this tweet from Jonah Keri brought it back to my attention:
Suck it, Jonah. You think you’re the first guy to play this so well? Psfttt.
I remember hearing all about these magnets as a rookie. Before Phiten introduced the florescent green and yellow version to make those A’s unis pop, players rocked metal versions in Detroit in the late 90s. Former All-Star Robert Fick showed me his gold beauty. I wasn’t buying it then, and years later, when I wore my first Phiten joint for a few weeks as an experiment, my assumptions were confirmed.
Jonah may have been hiding behind one of the poles in the Fenway clubhouse the day I was performing my famous “reverse strength” demonstration. You know the one. I wear the Phiten necklace and call Millar over. I hold my hands together tightly and tell him to pull my hands apart. He does it with ease. Then I take the necklace off and give him the same instructions. He can’t do it. I’m too damn strong once I no longer have a marketing scam strangling my neck. I replied to Jonah:
I wore one & went 0 for 4. We won the game & I was confused. “@jonahkeri: Have to credit Cole Hamels' Phiten necklace for this no-hitter.”
— gabe kapler (@gabekapler) September 1, 2014
When I tried them, I felt nothing. Not stronger, not healthier, nada. I didn’t have a spike in performance. The reason they’re so popular is simple; players love these bands because they’re superstitious. If a dude eats chicken and hits a home run, he’ll be eating again the next day. Then he doesn’t get a hit; the chicken must be rotten now. I know, I’ll try Cheerios.
I totally get that men and women need to control what they can control. There is so much about sports that makes an athlete feel powerless, so the ability to grab the reins is especially appealing. Companies like Phiten take advantage of those moments of weakness, offering up pseudo-science claims. Scienceline.org explains:
According to the company, the necklaces and bracelets work by stabilizing the electric flow that nerves use to communicate actions to the body. “All of the messages in your body travel through electricity, so if you’re tired or just pitched nine innings, the electricity isn’t flowing as smoothly as it can,” said Joe Furuhata, a Phiten spokesman. “Our products smooth out those signals.”
Many doctors and scientists say there is no scientific evidence supporting Phiten’s theory. “There’s no science and physiology,” said Dr. Orrin Sherman, chief of sports medicine at the New York University Hospital for Joint Diseases. “There’s just no way the chemical structure of the body can be influenced by magnets that small. It’s all superstitions with no scientific basis.”
I had done my reading. I knew that anytime I felt good, it was because of my decades of training with the ball and the bat, not some titanium infused piece of cloth. For a lot of players, however, the placebo effect can be powerful, especially combined with something tangible.
From Kevinmd.com:
Placebos need rituals—with acupuncture, for instance, the elaborate ritual creates an illusion of effectiveness. And from the doctor’s point of view, injections reinforce dependence on the physician, creating visits and cash flow.
The Phiten product is the equivalent of a shot for a ballplayer. If they think it works, maybe it does. They feel better with their necklace, and Phiten keeps a customer coming back for more.
So long as we’re working with the placebo effect, I have one more for you. Ballplayers, lean in. I want to tell you something I’ve never shared.
Years ago while with the Rays, I ran into the clubbie for the 1941 Yankees when we played in New York. He was being honored for his time in the organization. Now nearly 100 years old, he put his arm around me and told me this:
“Kap, I washed Joe D’s pants after every game of the streak.”
I was on pins and needles. The secret to baseball immortality was about to be revealed.
“Tide, Kap. We used Tide.”
Boom. Records are going down.
