College soccer team to host 'Harambe Night' promotion for fans
Yeah. This is happening. It really is.
With the hurricane of Harambe-themed signs, posters and t-shirts churning across the college sporting scene as students return to school, it was a mathematical certainty that someone, somewhere would hold a Harambe night at a public sporting event.
You can thank the UMass Lowell River Hawks for breaking that seal -- the team will be hosting a theme night in memory of the Western lowland gorilla that was subjected to the ultimate judgment call this summer.
Tomorrow is Harambe Night at @RiverHawkMSOC! Have a gorilla suit? Wear it to the game for a chance to win prizes! pic.twitter.com/yzGNmQSzHB
— UMassLowellAthletics (@RiverHawkNation) September 13, 2016
Fans wearing gorilla suits have a chance to win unnamed prizes, and the first 100 through the door get a mini stuffed "Harambe."
Hold on to this souvenir. Years from now, it will serve as a vital tool in explaining to your grandchildren why all these gorilla statues have been erected across our nation's public parks and zen gardens. Because they will ask.
"Why is there a Mandrill on the U.S. Supreme Court?"
"Who changed the national anthem to the theme from 'Congo'?"
And you'll just hold the toy up and tell them: "This is Harambe. He was a beautiful gorilla, and he died for your memes."
Dan is on Twitter. Rest in peace to all my expired memes out there.