A robot's view: Dear Diary

A robot's view: Dear Diary

Updated Mar. 4, 2020 12:35 p.m. ET

Dear Diary, It’s easy to just pin an audio clip on someone. Or to imagine what a player means because of something you heard on TV, saw in the paper or read in a blog. So how do we know what players really think? With true, honest and legitimate news reporting . . . reading their stolen diaries. And because I am a super-powered robot who can hack any computer system, wanna know the truth behind spygate? I went deep into the hard drives of the leagues best players to find out exactly what they think. Let’s take a look. Joe Flacco - “...I know I’m not elite, everyone knows I’m not elite, I mean I went to Delaware for crying out loud but I said it to get a big contract and now I have to continue to claim that I am in fact elite, I wish I was never born...” Ray Lewis - “...when I retire I hope they ask me on 'Dancing with the Stars', then I can show the world what I’m really all about...jazz hands, jazz hands...” Eli Manning - “...if it wasn’t for Peyton’s stupid commercials I bet people would like me better...” Mike Shanahan - “...you can never look too orange…” David Wilson - “...I led the league in return yards, if I wanna back flip, I’m gonna backflip, who doesn’t like a back flip? Heck, I’m gonna back flip right now...” Tony Romo - “Dear Diary, I’m thinking about getting an ear tuck? Does that make me vein or stupid?” Peyton Manning - “...I know I own like 16 franchises but I really hate Papa John's…” Russell Wilson - “...Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III who? Right diary? Right?” Blair Walsh - “...I deserve rookie of the year! I know I’m just a kicker but 10-10 over 50 yards, lets get serious...” Rex Ryan - “...I love that song 'Physica'l by Olivia Newton John, I bet she has amazing feet, I should get a tattoo of her..." Wes Welker - “I bet I’m at least 5-foot-8…” Marshawn Lynch - “...12th man my ass...”

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