Days like today make me wish I spent more time covering the MAC, where Eastern Michigan signed Lion King Conaway on Wednesday, but he officially has changed his name to just Lion King. That, friends, is an unclearable bar when it comes to All-Name teamers. Still, we give it our best shot here at FOX Sports Southwest.
These are the best of the best for various reasons we'll explain as we go along. Without further ado, these are the best names of players you'll hopefully be hearing from often in the years to come.
The 2014 Big 12 Recruiting All-Name Team
KD Cannon, WR, Baylor: The only way this could be better is if he was a quarterback. That's on the level of Oklahoma linebacker and All-Name Teamer Eric Striker for perfectly named talents. Still, Cannon is one of the highest-ranked recruits coming to the Big 12 next year. You should get to know his name well.
Justice Hansen, QB, Oklahoma: Better brush up on your law-related puns, headline writers. This is amazing. I'm excited to see what his brothers Integrity and Commitment do as their careers continue.
Poona Ford, DT, Texas: You better believe when this 288-pounder starts making plays at DKR-Texas Memorial Stadium, the fans will check in with a "Pooooooooooooo-na" chant. One of Texas' most highly sought-after signees also has one of its most sought-after names.
Shaquille Davis, OL, Texas Tech: Get ready for a whole new wave of guys rocking his name. He was born in the middle of Shaquille O'Neal's legendary NBA career. Approved. Especially when he weighs in at 320 pounds.
Terence Williams, RB, Baylor: This guy again? The last Terrance Williams to come through Waco led the nation in receiving and moved on to become a major contributor on the home state Dallas Cowboys. I doubt Williams ever leads the nation in receiving, but he's got the name for a stellar career at Baylor.
Verkedric Vaughns, ATH, Baylor: Originality will get you far in my book. How many Verkedric Vaughns do you know?
Yodny Cajuste, OL, West Virginia: Like I was saying. I've never heard of anyone with either name, and Cajuste continues the WVU pipeline to Miramar, Florida that was highlighted by Geno Smith and Stedman Bailey. New WVU assistant Damon Codgell was the former Miramar head coach and AD and helped reel in Cajuste.
Foster Sawyer, QB, TCU: They say you can't trust a man with two first names. That bodes well for a quarterback with two last names.
Daejuan Funderburk, DB, West Virginia: I shouldn't have to explain this one. A can't-miss prospect if there ever was one.
Tito Windham, DB, Oklahoma: Look me in the eyes and tell me the world doesn't need more Titos. You can't, can you?
Lorenzo Joe, WR, Texas: There's not a name on this list that's more fun to say.
Gyasi Akem, LB, Oklahoma State: Every syllable is better than the one before it.
Traevohn Wrench, RB, Kansas: If he follows the rules anything like a fellow who shares his name, he should do fine. Prepare yourself for obnoxious lines about Charlie Weis throwing a "Wrench" into opposing defense's plans. Yuck.
Double consonants you should know:
Kory Kodanko, OL, Iowa State; Sam Seonbuchner, LB, Iowa State; Dvonta Derricott, LB, Kansas State:
Keland McElrath, DL, Texas Tech: Having "wrath" in your name is always a good omen for an defensive lineman, especially one who checks in at 6-foot-6, 290 pounds.
Chris Platt, WR, Baylor: We're talking about a guy who has caught a touchdown pass from Andrew Luck, played Major League Baseball for the Oakland A's and helped dispose of one of the world's most notorious terrorists. Uh, yeah, I think he'll do well at Baylor.
