Jim Oberhofer believed the best therapy while mourning his wife's death was writing a book. As it turns out, the process was therapeutic to more than just him.
Oberhofer, crew chief for Top Fuel racer Doug Kalitta, wrote Top Fuel For Life: Life Lessons From A Crew Chief a year ago chronicling his witness to wife Tammy's courageous battle with cancer and the realities of life behind the scenes in championship drag racing. The book remains a popular favorite of both those inside the drag racing traveling community and the race fans.
"It was very therapeutic for me to put things down on paper," Oberhofer said. "I love talking about my wife Tammy for a lot of reasons. One of the things that I’m most proud about, to have said that I was her husband for over 20 years, and how courageous she was and how strong she was. She did everything she could to protect my daughter Ashley and myself from what was really going on with her. My biggest regret is not really understanding what happened and what was going on with her originally, that I should have been more aware."
Top Fuel For Life: Life Lessons From A Crew Chief taught Oberhofer the most important life lesson was to be aware of his surroundings.
"While she was experiencing all this, I should have been more aware of what was going on," Oberhofer said. "You take things for granted, and I told a lot of people I looked at it as she had a bad tune up. When we have a bad tune up in our race cars, we fix that but she was not a race car, she was a human being, and that’s my biggest regret is just not fully comprehending what was happening. Through all of that, what she had, I feel like a better person, and I still have a long way to go. I still work on that on a daily basis."
Oberhofer understands he's not the only one in this world who has ever taken aspects in life for granted, and now through interaction with those who have read his book - he's working hard to ensure this doesn't happen again.
Those interactions are reminders of what is more important in life than round wins and low elapsed times.
"It’s changed my life quite a bit," Oberhfer admitted. "What’s probably changed it more is understanding the impact that’s it’s made on people. When I get people that come up to me at the races, and I sign a book for them that they were kind enough to buy, read and then they have a story about it, a personal story. Whether it was a family member who was affected by cancer or a close friend or something else. It’s been an amazing, humbling experience to be able to help people and give them some sort of positive outlook on things."
When a reader conveys the book has helped them make different life decisions, Oberhofer says those moments touch his heart as much as any major drag racing accomplishment.
"I’ve had a couple of different racers out here come up and say, 'I read your book, and it changed my life because of it.' That's pretty powerful when somebody says something like that to you. I still try to learn from that. Every day is a learning experience for me. It’s truly been an amazing experience."
Watching his wife experience the fight for her life, and learning family history has inspired Oberhofer in more ways than just paying attention to the special moments in life. He's now very cognizant of the important of his own health well-being.
"I took things for granted a lot thinking I don’t need to go to the doctor," Oberhofer admitted. "Well now I go to the doctor once every year, I get a physical. I’ve realized and I will realize when December 11th rolls around this year that I’ll be 50 years old, I’m not 21 anymore. I wake up in the morning and it’s like “I don’t feel very good” and then I think “well I am getting older.
"I’m taking a little extra precaution with going to the doctor, being more proactive than what I used to be. Not only for myself but for my daughter because she’s been on me about going and getting myself checked. Tammy before she passed, she was on me as well saying, 'You need to start going to the doctor more and make sure you take care of yourself.'"
In her own subtle way, Oberhofer understands, Tammy was telling him he was going to be all their only child Ashley had left.
"I’m trying to do better. Back in 2010 I lost a bunch of weight," Oberhofer explained. "I lost 105 pounds and felt better than I’ve ever felt. Through Tammy’s illness I’ve started putting some weight back on this year so after Indy I made a conscience effort to get back on this, to get back to eating right and taking care of myself a lot better. Out in this world things get away from you really easy.
"Time gets away from you, you don’t eat right all the time or you eat too much or you eat too late. So since Indy I basically worked real hard and dropped like 35 pounds. Been going to the gym a lot and have just been trying to get myself back to feeling better, feeling healthy. I definitely want to be aware of that because I’d like to live a good life like Connie Kalitta. If I could just be like a quarter of what he is that’s be awesome."
Will he write again? There are those who hope he will once again pen his words of wisdom.
"I get people who ask me all the time when my next book is and I’m like, 'I don’t know what I’d write about," Oberhofer said with a smile. "And they say, 'man, you’ve got to have so much to write about."
***
Bobby Bennett is the Publisher/Editor of CompetitionPlus.com, a leading independent online drag racing magazine, since 1999. For the latest in dragster news worldwide, visit www.competitionplus.com or follow on Twitter @competitionplus
