Damon Feldman throws up his hands. Yup, he's guilty.
Damon once billed a local chicken wing eating champion as a celebrity for one of his D-list boxing bouts.
``That might be a bit of a reach,'' a laughing Feldman said.
Yes, the ``celebrity'' tag should be reserved for the true former TV and sports figures who bravely wear headgear and 18-ounce gloves for their three, 1-minute rounds of, ahem, uncoordinated flailing and flinching.
Names like Jose Canseco and Danny Bonaduce. Rodney King. Yes, even ``Charles in Charge'' actor Willie Aames.
They all stepped into a makeshift ring at ice rinks and gyms throughout suburban Philadelphia over the last two years as part of Feldman's Celebrity Boxing Federation. His main events are straight out of central casting for reality shows, featuring celebrities well past their 15 minutes of fame.
``If it's a regular actor, they're not going to sell. You have to have controversy,'' Feldman said.
Feldman's hands are full these days with his own controversy.
He's in the thick of a legal scandal - the kind that might land an entertainer with similar woes a contract with the CBF. Feldman and his promotion are on the ropes, and his dream of building the World Wrestling Entertainment of boxing could get KO'd.
State Attorney General Tom Corbett disagrees that Feldman's bouts are all in fun. He recently charged Feldman with fixing fights and staging them without a license.
Feldman is free on $50,000 unsecured bail, but he's barred from staging any events in Pennsylvania as a condition of his release.
Even so, he's going on with the show - in New Jersey. His next main event on Friday pits adult film star Gina Lynn vs. tabloid sensation Michelle ``Bombshell'' McGee, who has been linked to Jesse James.
Look out Vince McMahon. The CBF is on hold - for now. Feldman's billing Friday night's card as the debut of the Celebrity Wrestling Federation.
``If anybody asked me, I would say do not bet on this,'' Feldman said. ``It's entertainment.''
Feldman was in his element Thursday at a sports bar sandwiched between Pat's King of Steaks and Geno's Steaks (it's amazing he didn't try and sign Pat vs. Geno for his next card). He played ringmaster to an oddball collection of pro wrestlers, muscle-head trainers, porn stars and tattoo artists.
Lynn arrived first wearing a tight ``Team Sandra'' T-shirt, referring to actress Sandra Bullock, who has filed for divorce from James. McGee was swarmed by photographers who wanted their shot at the accused mistress.
``I have more 'Team Bombshell' people on my side,'' McGee said. ``As long as she's not 'Team Jesse.'''
Feldman, a former amateur boxer, promised ``100 percent excitement'' between the porn star and the stripper. He's hasn't decided what style of match they'll fight when it airs live on www.gofightlive.tv.
Has Feldman already picked a winner?
``I want to leave it up to you what to think,'' he said.
The state believes Feldman always knew who was going to win his boxing matches and promoted them as legitimate fights. He was charged with six counts of staging competitions without holding a promoter's license from the State Athletic Commission and six counts of rigging fights at those events during a 16-month period that ended in December.
Among the complaints, state agents saw boxers not receiving prompt medical attention after being knocked out, the absence of doctors at ringside to tend to injured fighters and out-of-shape contestants dangerously matched against fighters with superior skills.
Feldman has a preliminary hearing on May 26.
``He doesn't call himself the Celebrity Fake Boxing Association, he calls himself the Celebrity Boxing Federation,'' said Nils Frederiksen, a spokesman for the attorney general. ``He holds them up as fights. They were staged as fights and he doesn't have a promoter's license in Philadelphia. If you listen to the people involved, they certainly believed they were real fights.''
Bonaduce and Canseco fought to a draw last year. Bonaduce, the former ``Partridge Family'' star, said after the fight that Canseco, ``hit me harder than I've ever been hit my entire life.''
Former ``Survivor'' contestant Gervase Peterson said before his fight against a porn star that Feldman only told him he didn't want anyone to get hurt.
``I told Damon, 'If I'm going to fight, I fight. If I get knocked out, I get knocked out,''' he said. ``I've got no problem with that. I'm not going in there to throw a fight for somebody.''
Feldman didn't apply his ``WWE defense'' until he was arrested, Frederiksen said.
``If he said from the outset everything was fixed, everything was fake, would anyone have participated and would anyone have paid to go?'' he said.
Feldman, a self-described hustler, said he always had an ambulance at his matches. Asked if outcomes were predetermined like a WWE match, Feldman said, ``It all depends on the matches.''
``What am I going to do, get Willie Aames knocked out in Philadelphia? I could have got Bonaduce knocked out several times here,'' he said. ``Why would I do that? It's about entertaining the crowds.''
Frederiksen said there is no evidence of any participants knowingly throwing a fight. He said other complaints against Feldman included misrepresentation of charitable contributions. (Feldman denies this).
Feldman claims he's the victim of a ``personal vendetta'' from Greg Sirb, the executive director of the Pennsylvania Athletic Commission. Feldman says Sirb, who competed twice in CBF events, became furious when he was passed over to fight Bonaduce. Feldman chose a local morning show DJ instead.
Sirb declined to discuss Feldman.
``We respect the charges. Other than that, no comment,'' Sirb said.
Feldman's lawyer, Bob Bush, said the Commonwealth Court denied an injunction by the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission in 2008 that would bar Feldman from promoting boxing events.
All of this is heavy stuff for a promoter who dreams of pitting Todd Bridges vs. Dustin Diamond for the child-star championship. He's been planning a ``Wrestlemania''-type dream card in Los Angeles or Las Vegas that would feature several of his former stars as headliners.
``You know who calls me all the time?'' he says with excitement. ``Eddie Munster!''
