What Kind of Porn Is Most Popular in the SEC?

BY foxsports • March 13, 2013

Thirty percent of all Internet traffic is pornography. That's a lot of porn. But everyone searches for different types of porn. We know this thanks to a Twitter follower who uncovered this fabulous website that analyzes porn search terms to determine which types of porn are the most popular

By nation.

Or state. 

You already know where this is going, right?

Yep, SEC insults. (And soon to come, other conference analysis as well).  

One of the most constant refrains on my Twitter account is Alabama and Kentucky people accusing me of being gay. For this reason I've announced that I'm a gay Muslim on Twitter.

My hypothesis: The surest sign that you're a closet homosexual? You accuse others of being gay.

So guess what the most popular porn search is in the state of Kentucky?

"Free gay porn."

Really, it is.

Kentucky is the only state in the country that has a number one search result of "free gay porn."

This makes Kentucky the gayest state in the country. (Excepting Vermont -- top search "lesbian," which just proves that Vermont is really awesome. You go, hippies.)

There are 11 states in the 14 team SEC.

What porn does each SEC state like best?

Well, hit the map.

And read on for top tens from every state:

What else are all the gay people in Kentucky into?

Kentucky:

1. free gay porn

2. college

3. teen

4. milf

5. amateur

6. massage

7. hentai

I had no idea what this was and I was nervous to even Google it because I thought I might go to jail. But according to Wikipedia, hentai is sexually explicit comics. Which might be the most depressing legal pornography I've ever heard of. Seriously, women, could you really date a man who read porno comics? Isn't this infinitely worse than finding regular porn? And are there any women who read porno comics?

8. lesbian

9. straight

Searching for straight porn is another sign that you might be gay.

10. bbw

I had no idea what this was either. It's an acronym for big beautiful women.

Tennessee:

1. milf

Nashville joke: You can also just type, "Williamson County."

Tennessee likes milfs more than any other SEC state.

2. creampie

This is the number two most searched for porn term in the entire state! You think this is funny. Creampie is the number one most searched term in Rhode Island.

Tennessee likes creampies more than any other SEC state.

3. college

4. amateur

5. teen

6. ebony

7. Lisa Ann

Evidently this is an incredibly popular porn site.

It's also my sister's first and second name. Thanks, mom and dad.

8. lesbian

9. mom

10. pov

This is another acronym, for point of view porn.

Mississippi:

1. ebony

2. black (gay)

In a bit of an upset, Mississippi is the second gayest state in the union.

3. hentai

Mississippi likes porno comics the most in the SEC.  

4. bbw 

Mississippi likes fat chicks the most in the SEC.

5. lesbian

6. milf

7. teen 

8. pov

9. amateur

10. college

Alabama:

1. ebony

2. milf

3. teen

4. creampie

5. college

6. amateur

7. lesbian

8. bbw

9. hentai

10. massage

Georgia:

1. ebony

2. milf

3. creampie

4. black (gay)

5. teen

6. college

7. lesbian

8. amateur

9. massage

10. hentai

Florida:

1. teen

2. college

3. milf

4. creampie

5. massage

6. ebony

7. amateur

8. lesbian

9. straight (gay)

I assume this is a gay fetish where a guy pretends to be straight but is actually gay. This is evidently the preferred lifestyle choice in Kentucky.

10. pov

South Carolina:

1. ebony

2. milf

3. teen

4. college

5. creampie

6. amateur

7. pov

8. black (gay)

9. hentai

10. wife

This is the first appearance of wives in the porn oeuvre. See, South Carolina really does have great family values.

Arkansas:

1. ebony

2. teen

3. milf

4. creampie

5. college

6. lesbian

7. bbw

8. mom

Oh, man, come on Arkansas!

9. hentai

10. amateur

Louisiana:

1. ebony

2. milf

3. teen

4. creampie

5. college

6. straight (gay)

7. amateur

8. lesbian

9. pov

10. black (gay)

So what about the newest additions to the SEC, how do Missouri and Texas fit in with SEC porn tastes?

Missouri:

1. teen

Missouri likes 'em young!

2. college

Missouri also likes college girls the most in the SEC. This partly explains the Mizzou miniskirt.

3. milf

4. creampie

5. lesbian

Mississippi and Missouri tied at liking lesbians the most in the SEC.

6. anal

Missouri likes anal more than any other SEC state.

7. amateur

8. bbw

9. pov

10. mom

Texas:

1. teen

Both of the SEC's expansion candidates top porn searches are for teens. Big 12 influence?

2. milf 

3. creampie

4. amateur

Texas liked amateurs the most in the SEC.

5. college

6. massage

7. pov

8. hentai

9. anal

So the Big 12 states also are into anal, interesting.

10. ebony

...

We'll have more conference analysis coming soon. In the meantime, teh creampie in the top ten for every state? You're all perverts. Except for Kentucky, where you're (your) just all gay.  


share story