RG3 doesn't drink alcohol ... but he's going to later

Sid Saraf, FOXSports.com Well, it's pretty clear: Robert Griffin III thinks he's better than us. Or me at least. The Redskins star took time out of his busy complaining schedule to sit down with GQ Magazine. It was pretty standard fare: He's really talented and blah, blah. But something stood out. Does RG3 drink? And I quote: "Never had a drop. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I’ve never done any drugs. I need my body to be at its peak performance, and I want to have a long career, and alcohol can inhibit that sometimes. And I don’t need to get in trouble because I went out and got drunk one night and I don’t know how to be drunk. But she" —he nodded at Rebecca, his wife, who sat with us for part of the interview— "drinks, and I don’t judge, and what I’ve told her a bunch of times is the first time I drink, I’ll drink with her. When I’m done playing and I retire, and it’s time for me to go sit in a big house and do nothing all day, I’m going to drink. You know?" OK, let's do a compare and contrast to the life of Sid Saraf. RG3: "I don't smoke, I don't drink, I've never done any drugs." Well, this is embarrassing. That's three strikes against me. RG3: "I need my body to be at its peak performance." I don't. And it isn't. RG3: "And I don't need to get in trouble because I went out and got drunk one night and I don't know how to be drunk." Well, dude ... hang out with me for a while and you'll learn real fast. And nobody "needs" to get in trouble, but it tends to find you. RG3: "When I'm done playing and I retire, and it's time for me to go sit in a big house and do nothing all day, I'm going to drink. You know?" Oh, I'm the one person who knows. I know it all too well. In fact, I'm counting down the days until I can sit around and do nothing for the rest of my life. So, let's summarize: RG3 doesn't drink (yet) and I do. Works for me. Just curious, if he doesn't drink, what exactly does he DO all day? Work out, watch film and then go to sleep? Actually, that sounds about right, which explains why he's making the big bucks and I'm writing this. Sigh. I need a drink. Questions? Comments? Send them to lacesoutmail@gmail.com and we might respond in our weekly mailbag!