Mizzou needs to take care of business on the field and let the BCS take care of itself
KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- From here on out, kiddies, the
Z-O-U is partying with house money. Gary Pinkel wouldn't dare say this,
and Missouri's Tigers won't dare think this, but Saturday is a no-lose
kind of deal.
Scenario A: Mizzou loses the
SEC Championship game. Congratulations! Worst-case, the
consolation prize is a swanky New Year's Day bowl, most likely the
Capital One or the Cotton, and neither is a crappy trip. (Although if
you're parking near the Citrus Bowl, a little sage advice: Make sure
your car is locked and your valuables are in
Kissimmee.)
Scenario B: Mizzou wins the SEC
Championship game, and Ohio State and Florida State also win
Saturday. Congratulations! So you're heading to the Sugar
Bowl. And if you can't figure out a way to have a good time in New
Orleans for a few days, well, we can't help
you.
Scenario C: Mizzou wins the SEC
Championship game, and either Ohio State or Florida State is upset
Saturday. Congratulations! You're playing for the National
Championship, boys and girls. Cocktails and tailgating as sunset falls
over the Arroyo Seco. Simple as
that.
Scenario D: Mizzou wins the SEC
Championship game, and Ohio State and Florida State BOTH somehow
lose. Congratulations! You're PROBABLY in the National
Championship game, although with a handful of teams now sitting out
there with one loss, anything could happen. And we mean anything:
Alabama-Mizzou, Alabama-Florida State, Alabama-Auburn, Alabama-Ohio
State, Alabama-Oklahoma State, Alabama-Stanford, Alabama-Baylor,
Alabama-Michigan State, plague, locusts, famine, ANYTHING.
Most likely,
the BCS implodes (and just a few months before it was due to be killed
off anyway), and chaos ensues.
Which, you gotta
admit, is probably the only way this damn thing deserves to go
out.
At any rate, we've done the math. (Well, OK, we
had help with the math, but we paid good money for the tutoring.) And
the math says if The Fighting Pinkels win, they are, indeed, knocking on
the door for The Big One.
That's one of the fringe
benefits of joining the SEC, of course: In theory, your one loss has
more cache than the one loss suffered by the biggest stick in the Big
Ten or the ACC.
Ah, but there's the trick: One of
those aforementioned teams -- the Buckeyes and Seminoles, in this case
-- has to pick up that one loss first.
In other
words, Go Green, Go White, or go home.
On paper,
Sparty has the best chance to shock the world, and given their defense
-- No. 1 in the FBS -- you'd be a fool (or a Buckeye) not to give them a
puncher's chance.
Although Michigan State's Connor
Cook is a sophomore quarterback on the biggest stage of his young
life.
And Mark Dantonio is 1-3 against Ohio State,
lifetime, as coach of the Spartans. And Bucks coach Urban Meyer is 2-1,
lifetime, in conference championship
tilts.
Hmm.
On second thought, Go
Dookies.
"I think that there's a fine line between
politicking and knowing that you deserve (to be) there," was how former
Mizzou quarterback Chase Daniel put it. "I think that if we win on
Saturday, I think everything else will take care of
itself."
You'd hope. This is college football,
though, where logic gives way to provincial biases, decades of grudges,
closed-mindedness, narrow-mindedness, simple-mindedness, good ol' boys,
and backroom handshakes.
Oh, and non-stop
stumping.
"I'm not very good at beating
the drum," Pinkel told reporters earlier this
week.
Mind you, Saturday might be a fine time to
start.
This is the SEC, Gary, where
saying you're the best carries almost as much weight
as going out and proving it.
My
gosh, look at Auburn athletic director Jay Jacobs, who told reporters it
would be "un-American" to leave the SEC champion out of the national
title game, regardless of what happens in the Big Ten or the
ACC.
"This is not just about beating Alabama," Jacobs
continued. "It's about where this team has come
from."
See? Now, that's how you do it. If all else
fails, question the patriotism of every voter out
there.
And if that fails, question their respective
manhoods.
And when that fails, pour Diet Sunkist onto
the computers. That'll show ‘em.
Jacobs'
contemporary, Mizzou AD Mike Alden, was a bit less melodramatic when
appearing on the "Tiger Talk" radio show earlier this week -- in his
defense, it'd be hard to be melodramatic -- saying only that "we believe
the SEC, and I think we can all speak to that, is the toughest
conference in America.
"You have to be able to take a
look at the entire body of work. The BCS is what it is. For the last
year, they're going to decide who the No. 1 and the No. 2 is. Whoever
that ends up being, it's great that Mizzou is in the conversation. We've
got all the chips out there."
Now it's time to cash
them in.
You can follow Sean Keeler
on Twitter @seankeeler or email him at
seanmkeeler@gmail.com.
