Mail-it-in Friday: Which NFL player would make a solid president?

Mail-it-in Friday: Which NFL player would make a solid president?

Published Jul. 3, 2015 11:00 a.m. ET
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Happy birthday, USA!

Fourth of July weekend is here and most of us can't wait to get to the grill, crack open that first cold beverage and set off some fireworks. That's good, old-fashioned American fun right there.

However, this is still Mail-it-in Friday, so I do have to pose a question in honor of our great nation: Which NFL player would you vote for if he ran for president? Let's get to work!

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Ryan,

He could tell some boring foreign dignitary that he's just here so he won't get fined, etc. The possibilities are endless.

Jordan,

Thank you, Jordan. I've been fighting in the FOXSports.com office for the past few years to get people to recognize that Cam Newton is a natural leader. I've been peppered by various haters who feel his wide smile is just an act. That he's really a me-first, glory hound.

I say . . . NONSENSE! Would a fraud spend time with young children?

Would a snake in the grass make a young fan's dream come true after a touchdown?

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Exactly. Cam Newton is great for the community and any team would be lucky to have him. I don't care what he MAY have done in college. NCAA rules are so dumb and exploitive that I wouldn't blame anyone for taking a little money on the side.

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Cam Newton for president. Sign me up. I want to live in that world.

Andrew,

Really? Another Harvard clown? I don't know about you, but I'm ready to pass a rule that anyone who attended an Ivy League school is ineligible to hold the nation's highest office.

Just kidding. I'm actually threatened by their intelligence and have a giant chip on my shoulder. Ryan Fitzpatrick would probably make a great president, but he needs to lose that beard. That look went out with Rutherford B. Hayes and the only people who rock that now are hipsters. And we all hate hipsters.

Hamza,

Oh, GEEZ . . .

Thank you, monkey. And a happy holiday weekend to you!

Jason,

95df5fae-Monkey

Sure, but unfortunately, the White House doesn't have a practice squad.

BOOM!

Sorry, too soon?

Brady,

Adam

That's all well and good as long as he's sitting in the friendly confines of the Oval Office. However, his tendency to struggle in the cold would cost him big.

If it was Peyton instead of George Washington leading his troops across the Delaware, that surprise attack could have led to another inexplicable loss. And I imagine the hat he would wear would still leave that strange red mark on his eight-head.

Tom Brady is the guy you want out there in snow. Just sayin'.

ANGRY FAN,

He definitely knows how to alienate people. Seems like a perfect fit for Washington to me.

Gabriel,

He would own the State of the Union every year. However, I can't see him ever taking office.

Remember that whole "altercation" thing he was involved with several years ago? I'm guessing that would come up somehow during the election.

Michael,

I knew somebody would bring his name up. Here is my response in two GIFs:

Please don't give Tebow any ideas. I can envision him running for office one day. And believe me, if you thought Timmy was annoying in the NFL, can you imagine him during an election? His face plastered on every channel?

No. No. No. No. That can't happen. It must not happen.

Clooney
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William,

I would back Jim Brown for president because I would be too afraid to vote for anyone else.

Brown is one of the most intimidating people this planet has produced. Not only for his physical toughness, but for his mental acuity as well. He's older now, but could probably still drop me with one punch and then stand over me and explain why I deserved it using just three words.

Anyone who almost got Richard Pryor to stop doing drugs has my vote (WARNING: VERY EXPLICIT AND AWESOME LANGUAGE):

Please run for office, Mr. Brown. This country needs a healthy dose of fear that only you can provide.

Barrett,

Hate to break this to you, but our armed forces can already fire a missile and thread it through a needle from 1,000 miles away.

That being said, Aaron would easily be the most handsome president this country has ever seen, and that's including JFK. Plus, he's a California guy, so he wouldn't have that weird New England accent. Winner in my book.

Adrian,

Sorry, I view Cowboys the same way I view people from the Ivy League. They feel they speak for America, but they really don't.

Will,

Hey, everyone loves a good redemption story. From prison to the White House. I love it.

 

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