COLUMBIA, Mo. – Eric Shanteau had never considered the question before, and a chance to think about what advice he would give his former self after more than three years of personal and professional growth made him pause. On a recent Saturday, he sat in a hallway at the Mizzou Aquatic Center in a position he did not anticipate as a hungry swimmer with an uncertain future at the Beijing Games.
In 2008, Shanteau was diagnosed with testicular cancer a week before the US Olympic Team Trials in Omaha, Neb. Despite the news, he was cleared to compete, and he qualified for his first Olympics at age 24 in the 200-meter breaststroke by edging Scott Usher and former world-record holder Brendan Hansen for the final slot.
On the recent Saturday, Shanteau looked ahead as competition at the Missouri Grand Prix continued in a pool nearby. He thought about how challenges of the recent past had shaped him. Since China, he had undergone surgery for his condition, lost his father, Richard, to lung cancer and developed a renewed focus for his sport with a goal of representing the United States in London.
"When it comes to swimming, I would say, 'Relax,'" Shanteau said. "Obviously, everybody gets nervous. But I would say, 'Relax' as it comes to swimming – just enjoy the ride and enjoy this experience that you're on. As a person, I would tell (my former self), 'It's OK to be vulnerable.' I think it's OK to let yourself open up. It took several years to learn. It's still a learning process. But it's OK to let people into your little world."
By learning such lessons, Shanteau carries greater self-awareness in his attempt to earn another Olympics appearance. Life since the Beijing Games has given him perspective. And despite hardship, the experience has made him more complete in and out of the water.
Shanteau knows his journey continues, and he spoke with confidence during his second US Swimming Grand Prix Series meet in as many months that his future will be rewarding. He does not know how long his swimming career will last beyond the summer. However, the sport has given him a platform to share his inspiration with the world.
"I think a big way I dealt with cancer was just taking it all on myself and saying, 'I can handle it. I'm fine. I don't need any help,'" Shanteau said. "I learned you can't do that. I learned that pretty quickly. But to master that, I think it has taken lots of years."
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His mind went blank. Late in the morning on June 19, 2008, Shanteau's doctors gave him news that brought fear and confusion to his Olympics training routine. A lump on his testicle was found to be cancerous, and what he thought was a good possibility to make the US team suddenly appeared unclear.
The development represented another challenge in his quest to achieve a lifelong dream. Four years earlier, the Lilburn, Ga., native had missed a chance to qualify for the Athens Games by placing third in the 200- and 400-meter individual medleys at the US Olympic Team Trials. Before his diagnosis in 2008, he was confident in his chances to improve upon those near-misses and earn a trip to Beijing. He spent the practice after learning of his ailment thinking, "What has just happened to me?"
Fortunately for Shanteau, he was given permission to compete at the 2008 US Olympic Team Trials. Usually, immediate surgery would be recommended for a patient in his situation. But the swimmer wanted to give himself a chance to test the training he had performed under Longhorn Aquatics coaches Eddie Reese and Kris Kubik.
"His strength of character was on display," Reese said. "He is an incredibly hard-working, consistently hard-working swimmer – one of the hardest-working I've been around.
"The time he was going through it – he had to carry that with him. … But you know the old saying, 'If it doesn't stop you, you get better from it.' If it doesn't stop you dead in your tracks, then you'll be better for going through it. He knows he can go through anything."
Said Chris Davis, Shanteau's former coach at SwimAtlanta, the club team where Shanteau learned to swim at age 3: "He's probably got one of the best, most unflappable attitudes of anybody I've coached."
Still, the moment Shanteau clinched an Olympics berth included uncertainty. Two weeks after his diagnosis, he finished second in the 200-meter breaststroke at the US Olympic Team Trials, .39 seconds behind Scott Spann. At that point, though, Shanteau was unsure if he could make the trip overseas because of his health.
Eventually, he was given permission to travel to China, as long as he passed weekly check-ups. Shanteau promised to quit the team if the cancer spread, but the disease was limited to one area during his time away from the United States.
He did not reach the finals in Beijing, but he finished 10th in his lone event with a personal-best time. Later, that August, Shanteau underwent surgery at Emory University Hospital in Atlanta. Less than three weeks later, he was found to be cancer-free.
"You learn a ton about yourself," said Shanteau, who reached his one-year remission point on Sept. 15, 2009. "You learn who you really are. The biggest thing for me was getting a different perspective on not only the sport of swimming but life in general."
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The year after Shanteau's appearance at the Beijing Games proved to be one of the most rewarding of his career. That July, he set the United States records in the 100- and 200-meter breaststroke at the World Championships in Rome, earning a time of 58.96 seconds in the 100-meter race and 2 minutes 7.42 seconds in the 200-meter competition.
His showing in Italy and elsewhere throughout 2009 motivated him to train toward earning another chance at the Olympics. The goal represented a transition in his thinking from his time in Beijing. At that point, he thought he was in the late stages of his swimming career and did not consider London to be a possibility.
"It's funny, I went back and watched a bunch of interviews I gave at the Olympics in 2008, and I said on more than one occasion that this is it for me – I'm not going past Beijing," Shanteau said. "Here I am four years later. I really think my journey for this year really hinged on that first year after Beijing, and having such a strong year in 2009 gave me motivation to keep going."
Still, Shanteau's growth in the pool came with personal challenge. His father, Richard, a Vietnam veteran, died of lung cancer on Aug. 15, 2010. Richard was 63.
Before he passed, though, the father gave the gift of a valuable life outlook. Shortly after Shanteau was diagnosed with testicular cancer, Richard told his son, "You have cancer. It doesn't have you."
The message became Shanteau's personal inspiration. He knew testicular cancer could dominate his life if he allowed it. As a result, he kept focused on future goals rather than worrying about how the disease might affect him.
"He's always learning, always taking the opportunity to improve in the environment that he's in," said University of Southern Cal men's and women's swimming coach Dave Salo, Shanteau's current coach. "He always looks at it as part of his accumulative effect of all the experiences that he's had, which I think is pretty unique for an athlete."
And the past has taught Shanteau to appreciate life. The years since the Beijing Games have shown him swimming is a passion to be enjoyed – not stressed over – because time around family and friends should be treasured. Now, he thinks about how the sport is just one piece of the person he has become. Consequently, he approaches his responsibility in the pool with less pressure than before.
"At the end of the day, this is something we choose to do," Shanteau said. "It's something that we're here by choice. No one is forcing me to be here, especially now that I am a professional swimmer. Having that mentality makes getting behind the blocks at big meets a little bit easier."
But where will his work lead this year? Shanteau is at peace with whatever happens in the next five months, because he knows life will continue beyond the Trials in Omaha and perhaps an appearance in London. Testicular cancer made him question the future, but his recovery has given him confidence in his direction.
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Shanteau sat in the hallway at the Mizzou Aquatic Center a different person than the ambitious swimmer who chased his Olympics dream four years ago. Now, he sees a larger purpose.
He observes life in a different way. He does not sweat small inconveniences such as busy Los Angeles traffic or long lines at the grocery store. He values relationships with friends and family with a deeper gratitude. He and his girlfriend, Jeri, were married last May, and he envisions starting a family soon.
Shanteau knows the years since the Beijing Games have brought growth. He would not take back any of the experience, though, including moments when he asked himself, "Why me?" after his diagnosis. He knows the tests have strengthened his resilience and made him who he has become.
Shanteau's perspective has matured, and he is eager to use his stature as a former Olympian to provide hope to others who suffer from cancer. He says there is some good to be found in each situation, no matter how negative a scenario may seem. He says he is more confident for what he has lived since 2008, and he knows others who face similar situations can thrive.
"No matter what you're in, look for that good and hold onto it," Shanteau said. "In my situation, I came out a better, stronger person that I am very happy with. That was the good in getting cancer for me. That's not always an easy thing to do, and it may take a long time. But look for the good in any situation, no matter what it is. It's usually there somewhere. You may just have to look a little harder."
His journey continues. Shanteau is in his third year of a surveillance plan to make sure the cancer does not return. He goes to a urologist for check-ups every six months and will continue to do so until the end of his fifth year.
If all remains clear by then, he will be officially declared in remission. His chances of a recurrence of the disease, he said, are "extremely low."
"He just has a truly great outlook on life," Davis said. "He's one of the people when he walks into a room or walks into practice, you feel better because he's there."
And Shanteau feels better for placing his struggle with cancer behind him. He calls closing the chapter that began with shock before the 2008 Trials "great and relieving." No matter what happens in Omaha in June and possibly London soon after, he is confident he will draw lessons from the experience and move forward.
Moving on has been one of Shanteau's greatest lessons since appearing in China. He learned it is OK to be relaxed. He learned it is OK to be vulnerable.
