The 2017 season for MLS is right around the corner, and we now know what every squad will be wearing this season. We've seen all the newest kits, but how does each team's entire ensemble stack up against each other? Some teams have stellar primary kits but horrid secondary looks, and vice versa. Here's a ranking of each team's uniform combo, from worst to best.
Yikes. D.C. United's new secondary kit looks like some weird kind of exoskeleton that ends up well wide of the mark. The primaries, devoid of any real color, are the same as last year's. United will be playing their final season in the decaying relic that is RFK Stadium this year, so the kits are fitting by that standard, I guess.
Best feature: Secondary kit can be used by competitive cycling teams when they're inevitably trashed.
New York Red Bulls
Last year's secondary remains, and the new primary is at least a bold attempt. Unfortunately, it doesn't really get off the ground with the awkward pinstripes. Maybe it's supposed to look like the suspension bridges fans have to traverse to watch the team play in New Jersey?
Best feature: The secondary kit is solid.
Real Salt Lake
There's little to get excited about here. The primary kit is a lot of red, while the new secondary kit is a lot of white. That's about all there is to say about either one. Do better, please!
Best feature: They fit (ideally).
Their holdover primary kit leaves a lot to be desired, but the secondary strip is quite appealing. Changing the crest's colorway to match the scheme of the secondary kit is a mistake, though. While it probably wouldn't look much better with the original crest on there, perhaps the Rapids need to rethink the crest altogether. The Kroenke Sports synergy between the Rapids and the NHL's Avalanche is wearing thing.
Best feature: Brightness of the new secondary kit.
The primary kit remains the same as last year's, while the Fire dropped a new secondary kit in gray. It's pretty clean, if slightly underwhelming. Chicago's blessed with an unobtrusive sponsor, which helps as well. Overall an OK look.
Best feature: The textured look of the new kit adds needed depth.
The Sounders are the only MLS team with three kits this season. The green primaries and denim-like secondary kits from last year remain, while the Sounders trot out another heavily white kit. The blue accents aren't exactly "Sounder Blue," so it's a bit confusing.*
Best feature: As MLS Cup winners, Seattle have added a gold star to their kits. Anybody that bought either of last year's offerings might be tempted to scoop one with a star.
*Update: As throwbacks, the secondary kits use a past color scheme. Regardless, they're a touch bland.
The solid primary kit stays put, with a new secondary in the cards for FC Dallas this year. It's creative, so I'll give them that. The 11 stars on the kit are representative of players, while the blue-to-white gradient is supposed to evoke the Texas sky. I don't hate it, but I feel like I should.
Best feature: All the stars jokes you can make about FC Dallas, who haven't won an MLS Cup yet
San Jose Earthquakes
I'll give credit to San Jose for being daring, but the new primary jersey's clashing stripes just don't work. Especially with the wavy element of the sponsor's logo. Their secondary whites are serviceable.
Best feature: The black and blue combo of the primary is a good color scheme, the design just misses the mark.
Like MLS' version of Real Madrid, the Galaxy love their home whites. Those are meh as it stands, and the blue alternates are OK. All in all, it's fine ... but they lose points for this awkward Polaroid-style photoshoot launch.
Best feature: The denim-like texture of the secondary strip.
Yawn. The primary kit (a good one, to be fair) remains, but the new secondary is a snoozer. The vertical stripes are almost imperceptible, but maybe they'll pop more on the pitch. That's probably wishful thinking.
Best feature: The fleurs-de-lis on the socks are a nice touch.
New England Revolution
The Revs' primary, one of last year's freshest kits, gets a fine complement in this year's secondary. It's billed as a "bold interpretation of the United States flag." The awful Revs logo remains, however.
Best feature: The alternating three stripes on each shoulder of the secondary kit.
New York City FC
City's sky blue kit is unlikely to ever drastically change, so most of their alterations are subtle. This year they've incorporated more orange, which is welcomed. The intriguing secondary kit from last year remains.
Best feature: Finally differentiating themselves (somewhat) from Manchester City.
Vancouver Whitecaps FC
The Whitecaps might be mistaken for hospital patients in their new primary kits. The triangle pattern is at least better than an all-white kit, but it still looks childish.
Best feature: One of the few gradient attempts that actually works can be found in their holdover secondary kits.
The Union hang onto their crisp primary from last year, but the secondary doesn't keep the pace. It's not atrocious, but it's not inspiring, either.
Best feature: The centered crest on the primary kit.
The inaugural season for Atlanta United will be a pretty one, at least in terms of on-field attire. Stripes on the primary kit strike a perfect blend of the team's black, red and gold color scheme. Grey hoops on the secondary keep it from being too bland. It's a strong first effort from the expansion club.
Best feature: Bold, vertical stripes on the primary kit.
Sporting Kansas City
Sporting normally boast a strong kit, so maybe I'm being a bit harsh this year, but these primaries are unexciting. They look like they'd be comfortable pajamas, albeit with a collar.
Best feature: The secondary kits remain very easy on the eyes.
Are you paying attention, RSL? This is how you pull off a kit dominated by red. It's clean and the dark gray looks very sharp. The secondary is OK but looks somewhat incomplete.
Best feature: Maple leaf jock tag.
We're robbed that the Loons don't have the iconic wing-style home kit, but these aren't awful consolation prizes. The home kit with the sash looks slick, and the away whites aren't anything special but get the job done.
Best feature: Getting Target to allow a non-red logo. The bullseye is distracting, but it'd be even worse if it were bright red.
Orlando City SC
With royal purple, the Lions are blessed with one of richest colors in all of MLS. They haven't gotten too adventurous with the primary kit, but they've implemented a lot more gold this year. Last season's secondary kit, which is fine, sticks around.
Best feature: The purple, duh!
The Timbers' new darker green is move evocative of Portland and the Pacific Northwest, so that's an improvement. The secondary kit is sharp and looks unlike any other. This is a quality ensemble.
Best feature: The full-gold accenting across the primary kit.
#ForeverOrange is the marketing push the Dynamo are using for this kit, and it's quite fitting. The all-new, primarily orange kits are a hit. It's bright, but the subtle "space city blue" stripes help prevent it from looking like an traffic cone.
Best feature: Keeping the fantastic "Paint it Black" secondary kits from last year. Well done.
Columbus Crew SC
Columbus probably wouldn't wait to ditch last year's awful secondary kit. Fortunately, they redeemed themselves with this year's offerings. They brought back the gold home kit (with a new sponsor) and shifted last year's primary kit to the secondary shelf. It's tough to find a better pairing.
Best feature: Checkered printing accents both kits is a nice pull from the club's crest.