Colin releases the ‘Herd Happy Meter’

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Colin Cowherd talks NFL QBs. Find out what he thinks about the free agent signing so far this offseason.

- The United Nations has an annual report of the happiest countries. They go to like, you know, one to 200. And here's the 10 happiest countries in the world right now-- Finland, Norway, Denmark, Iceland, Switzerland. Canada is in there, Sweden.

Apparently, people-- snow makes people very happy in the world. Minus 11 degrees is apparently zen, that or people when it's snowing outside are huddled indoors and filling out surveys. There is your happiest places in the country.

And I thought to myself, we have seven new teams over the last few days that have quarterbacks they didn't have before. Over the last, you know, let's say month, week, two or three days, 24 hours, we've got seven NFL teams with new quarterbacks. Now the quarterbacks are-- Sam Bradford's in Arizona.

Buffalo added AJ McCarron. Denver added Case Keenum. Minnesota added Kirk Cousins. Washington added about a month ago Alex Smith. The Jets added Teddy Bridgewater, and Cleveland added Tyrod Taylor from Buffalo.

So I thought to myself this morning, now that the United Nations has delivered the 10 happiest countries list, of all these teams that have new quarterbacks, let's rate them in happiness. Because it's not all the same. Now, they'll release things to "USA Today," and Fox Sports, and ESPN, and tell you how happy they are, and we're going to live together forever, and this is the greatest quarterback signing.

Because they're selling it to the fans. They're selling it to the locker room. There's a lot of salesmanship going on with these teams and these quarterbacks.

So I'm going to have the Herd Happy Ranking today. Of all these quarterbacks now that have landed at new spots, what's that true happiness meter? And to me, Minnesota with Kirk Cousins is the happiest.

Listen, they had a good roster. They got close to the Super Bowl. I think he's a physical upgrade from Case Keenum-- bigger, stronger guy with a better arm.

I think in the Herd Happy Ranking of all these seven new quarterbacks in places, Minnesota's the happiest. They got an upgrade. They were inches from the Super Bowl.

Next would be Washington. They're not happiest. They're happy.

They believe-- and I think they're right-- Alex Smith is better than Kirk Cousins. They also believe that there's no way on God's green earth we can have as many injuries at running back, offensive line, and wide receiver as we did last year. Washington feels like we've upgraded at quarterback.

We still have a coach we like. We still have the pass rushers on defense we like. And we can't get as banged up as we were last year. They're not happiest because they're not a Super Bowl team, but they're happy.

I think Denver is happy-- dot, dot, dot-- for now. Listen, Case Keenum is a guy that didn't go first, second, third, fourth round. Case Keenum's smaller. He doesn't have a rocket arm.

Yes, he won a bunch of games, but he won those games for a Minnesota team that's absolutely stacked in a division where Aaron Rodgers got hurt and they get some extra wins. Denver is happy for now. I still think they could draft a quarterback with the five pick, certainly by their second pick.

Arizona is next. They're happy if Sam Bradford can stay healthy for one year-- that's a big if-- they can draft a quarterback somewhere in the first round and develop him behind Sam Bradford. And in two years, a Josh Rosen, a Josh Allen, a Baker Mayfield has a year of watching a real pro.

He's a real coach. A lot of people think Bradford is going to go player to coach eventually. If he didn't have all this money from playing, $125 million, it'd probably be easier to convince him to work after football. So Arizona is happy if Bradford is healthy and they develop a quarterback.

Buffalo, now they have AJ McCarron. They're happy they dumped Tyrod Taylor's contract. They're not in love with AJ McCarron. They see him as a year starter until they draft a quarterback or the best backup potentially in the NFL. But what they're really happy about is dumping Tyrod Taylor's contract.

The Jets, meanwhile-- of the seven teams with quarterbacks-- are happy they're not Cleveland. Josh McCown and Teddy Bridgewater, you're not going to win a ton of games with that, especially in Brady's division. But they're happy they're not Cleveland.

And the last team on the Happy Herd Rankings is Cleveland. They're not happy at all until they draft Sam Darnold, which they could still screw up because they're Cleveland. So there you go. That's the Herd Happiness Rankings on a day that the United Nations released their world's happiest countries.