‘Fifty Shades Of MMA’?

Definitely not Fabio Maldonado.

Barry King/WireImage

An MMA romance novel is a thing and Against The Ropes author Sarah Castille explained to USA Today just what makes the sport so darn sexy. Hint: She’€™s not talking about the Octagon girls or Ronda Rousey.

"Now that MMA has moved into the mainstream, from Fox Sports to pay-per-view, fighters are everywhere," Castille said. "€œAbs of steel, buns of iron and magnificent rampant bodies grace our television screens and magazines."

Oh. Well, then.

Castille gives three reasons why MMA is hot in romance right now –€“ ripped fighters, their "€œalpha male" dominance and subliminal sexual messages. That€™’s right, you’€™ll never think of full mount the same way again after reading Against the Ropes.

"Suggestive moves include: the ‘ground and pound,’€™ in which the strategy is to get the opponent on the ground, be on top, and pound away from a dominant position,"€ Castille explains, "€œthe ‘collar tie,’€™ in which the fighter clasps his hands around the opponent’s neck; the ‘rear naked choke’ (’nuff said)."

€œAgainst The Ropes actually has a 4.3 rating (out of 5) on Amazon. Nocturne Romance Reads said: "This story had a lot of things that I love in brain candy: hot, hot, hot lovin’, lots of blood and huge muscly fighters."

The lead male character’s name is Torment, probably because all the other cheesy nicknames for MMA fighters are taken. About That Story describes Torment as "€œsexy, caring and domineering."

Yeesh.

Perhaps this book would make for a great, umm, stocking stuffer for your wife or girlfriend. Especially if you want her New Year’€™s Resolution to be dumping your flabby butt for a Georges St-Pierre lookalike.