The Ultimate Writer sounds off on episode 3

BY foxsports • September 18, 2013

Ah the TUF house, aka, the nicest rent-free mansion you couldn't wait to get out of!

Tate apologizes to Baszler and continues to try and befriend everyone in the house. The chocolate cake makeup was a good touch. I'm also noticing Tate does not like shirts that go all the way to the pants. She is a firm believer in separation of shirt and pants.

Sarah does not realize that putting lotion on a guys back encourages them to hit on you. She is also not familiar with Sarcasm. Dudes strut their stuff around the house and continue to peacock for the ladies or pea-ass in the British fella's case.

This season is different then any other in that the people in the house getting on each others nerves are of the opposite sex, so I'd imagine its like living with very angry polygamists. Ronda catches me off guard by explaining the '3 C's' and there not color, cut and clarity.

Holdsworth says some crazy stuff about how he's been working on his striking and is ready to stand with Beal. I hope he means like when the fight starts your usually standing, you know. to tap gloves.

Chris Beal (L) punches Chris Holdsworth (R) in their preliminary fight.

Wait stop everything: Some guy's occupation is listed as "Lives with parents."  Ladies, he is available if you don’t charge him rent, prepare his meals and do his laundry like mom.

Holdsworth gets a prefight massage, which did not happen when I was in the house, in case you were wondering. He looks great sparing with Tate but I'd like to see more takedowns and possibly even some of that jiu-jitsu. Then after another massage he has a therapy session. This ironically did happen when I was in the house.   Beal makes a break for it and runs outside the house without being asked to leave, oh and he beat cancer! Also, we find out that both fighters have lost older brothers to violence.   Beal trains to avoid the takedown, which from what I've been told, will be the key to the fight. Quick side note: When they are preparing to fight they are both most likely lighter then their female coaches.

Now on to the bar. Ahh, sh*t. Tate and Rousey really don't like each other and more importantly, do not drink anything inspired by "Sex In The City." We learn why nobody likes Bryan Caraway… yeah, Twitter will get you in trouble. That's why I have my mom do mine.

Holdsworth shares a personal letter with the exact wrong guy to tell anything--the guy from earlier in the episode that doesn't like Julianna. Hopefully he has better judgment in the cage. Beal has never lost a fight and that’s including cancer.  Oh and he's a Leo that's into Zodiac signs.

The coaching is gonna be confusing because both fighters are named Chris, I just realized that.

Holdsworth looks like a strong wind might kill him but he eats a couple big shots from Beal proving even though he's a skinny guy he's got a bit of a beard. Then the long guy uses his range and some footwork to catch the thicker heavier puncher. Then what I've always said, ‘skinny arms good guillotine.’ Chris wins defeating Chris via guillotine in first round.

Holdsworth also proves I don't know sh*t about how to train for a fight because though he was working too much on his striking and not enough on his takedowns. You also might have noticed that Beal slipped a little before he gets knocked down. That's not because he was hurt--it’s because he was fatigued. According to Dr. Griffin, when you’re fatigued your fine motor coordination declines.

Referee Herb Dean steps in to stop Chris Holdsworth (blue shorts) after submitting Chris Beal.

Anyway, on to the next one: I'm betting Jessica wins. Why? Do I have inside knowledge? No, but I've seen Jessica consistently develop a high-level ground game over the past two years, so there. Or there they are. Everybody knows my friends always win… except when they don't.

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