It's Christmas eve and by the time you read this I'll be well on my way to Lexington, Kentucky to spend the day with my family and my one-month old niece, Liv.
So I hope y'all also have a great holiday.
But I know many of y'all will have to work today, or you'll be mired in awful family events unable to escape and seeking salvation on your smart phones. With that in mind, I decided to go ahead and bring you guy's OKTC's ten most read stories for 2012. Yes, even though 2012 isn't quite complete yet.
It's too early to drink.
I've made my obsession with Google analytics clear, and I've also consistently shared all of our markets, readership, and data with y'all.
So what were our ten most read stories in 2012? And before you read any further can you guess them? I'll confess, I could only get five of them without having the data to check out.
This year OKTC grew a ton.
How much?
We had to upgrade our servers three different times this year.
What's more no top ten most-read story that we had in 2011 was well-read enough to have cracked the top ten in 2012. In fact, every one of these stories had over 150,000 readers, which is a massive number for an independent site like ours. Back when I was an editor at Deadspin if we had a 100,000 click piece, we'd do cartwheels, it was just unheard of at Deadspin in 2008. Four years later Deadspin does million reader pieces. (Of course, those generally have nudity in them, but still, it's impressive. Fun fact, by the way, 30% of all Internet traffic is pornography. Really.)
So what did OKTC readers consume the most in 2012? Well, the most read consistent feature on the site was the mailbag -- the mailbag puts up huge traffic every Friday because your questions are so damn good -- but no mailbag was in the top ten most read pieces on the site.
Okay, make your final guesses on the top stories.
Without further ado, here were the ten most read stories at OKTC for 2012.
1. The buttchugging denial press conference at Tennessee.
This was the first time when it occurred to me, holy crap, we're actually setting the ridiculous story agenda in the South.
Sure, the buttchugging story may have gone viral and ended up everywhere if OKTC didn't exist, but I kind of doubt it.
The number of readers this story did was truly insane.
If you're having a bad day go back and watch this press conference video again, it's simply amazing.
"It's kind of a long story."
2. Vince Young's Cheesecake Factory and T.G.I. Friday's stories.
The day after Vince Young is bankrupt stories appeared in Houston newspapers, I went on the radio and said, "Okay, if Vince Young is really bankrupt, he must have spent a ton of money in ridiculous ways here in Nashville. Call in if you have any VY spending stories."
The number one market for 3HL is waiters.
Every single waiter in the city of Nashville listens to our show.
This is complete truth.
So I knew the potential stories were going to be great.
The floodgates opened and the calls were amazing.
I guarantee you no one changed their radio dial on that day.
3. Johnny Manziel and the smoking hot blonde.
This is when the legend of Johnny Football really began.
We'd already featured the pictures of Manziel in a Scooby Doo costume, but then an email arrived at OKTC featuring photos of Manziel dancing with a smoking hot blonde in lingerie.
I was on air with 3HL and took a segment off to post the story.
The moment I hit publish on this story, the site nearly crashed.
4. Bama fan teabags an LSU fan in the Bourbon Street Krystal
OKTC broke this story six days after the 2012 BCS title game.
I remember watching our site traffic as this story took off and just shaking my head.
This was our first truly "viral" story.
I'm still in shock that the teabagger is now in jail. The poor guy got completely screwed.
5. Nick Saban's daughter delivers a sorority cat fight beatdown.
I was on a July vacation on Mackinac Island, Michigan when I get an OKTC email tip that Kristen Saban was in a sorority catfight and I have to drop everything that I'm doing and read the complaint right now.
So I read the complaint while I'm having drinks with my wife.
After about five minutes, my jaw drops.
I've been writing on the Internet now for seven years so I know when stories will explode. Nick Saban's daughter + catfight + sorority + insane allegations = Internet gold bullion.
To her everlasting credit when I turn to my wife and say, "Nick Saban's daughter got into a sorority catfight and I have to go write about it," my wife isn't even surprised.
This is one of my favorite pieces that I wrote this year.
And this is one of my favorite paragraphs:
"Petrino blamed the sun in his eyes for the accident despite it being a perfectly clear, dry, sunny afternoon.
I don't want to get all grassy knoll on y'all, but am I the only person who blames the reach around crotch grab for the accident?
Hell, if I was riding on a bicycle and my wife pulled the reach around crotch grab on me I'd wreck. (Note: this assumes my wife would be willing to touch my crotch in daylight which is, unfortunately, a wild leap of logic).
Much less a speeding motorcycle.
Applying Occam's Razor here -- and channeling Sherlock Holmes -- it has to be the unexpected reach around crotch grab that caused the accident.
Has to be."
That's Pulitzer worthy.
7. Awkward fan photos: Meet the pregnant Bama couple in front of a cow pond
This was actually written in late December of 2011, but remains so popular that it still hits the top ten for 2012.
This piece introduced our awkward fan photos series.
You absolutely must read it.
8. The SEC's future is 16 teams, four divisions of four
My SEC Network pieces and this column were way ahead of the realignment curve.
It's always good to see that a smart column without a single bit of humor can also attract a massive readership.
9. Top 16 coaching candidates in college football
As mid-October neared, it was becoming increasingly evident that there were going to be several big college jobs open.
So I ranked the top 16 "available" coaches in college football.
This list was a frenzy.
Just about every coach on here either got a raise and an extension or charged jobs.
10. My buddy Tardio's bachelor party, parts one and two.
I get asked about this more than any OKTC story we've ever had up on the site.
If you need to escape from your family or look busy at work today, read it.
I guarantee you'll enjoy it.
...
All ten of these stories had one thing in common -- y'all shared them with your friends, family, and co-workers and were the driving force behind their massive readerships.
OKTC works because of you guys.
Happy holidays from all of us to you and yours.
Sincerely,
Clay the gay Muslim
