He sees you when you’re cheating. He knows when you are baked. He knows if you’ve posted bail or not, so sit there and continue to shake.
Oh yes, Roger Goodell is coming to town.
As soon as the ink dries on the new NFL collective bargaining agreement, free agents find new homes and a sense of normalcy returns, the commish’s sack full of goodies no doubt will include more than a dozen fines and suspensions.
The NFL’s naughty list expanded greatly over the past 10 days. The Cincinnati Bengals hit the trifecta last week with three players charged in three different states. According to this database compiled by the San Diego Union-Tribune, 23 NFL players have been arrested since the lockout began. Kenny Britt’s numerous encounters with police were rounded down to one.
Question: At what point does the NFL admit off-the-field arrests are a problem? Answer: When a database is created and exists to organize the steady stream of blotter reports.
Fantasy owners also should keep tabs on the mug-shot counter. Analyzing the arrest reports, I learned all that is missing from my naughty NFL fantasy roster was a quarterback, tight end and kicker. This version of eight men out (of control) are viable fantasy options in most 12-team league drafts, but possible suspensions may chip away at their overall value.
RB – Cedric Benson
Top 200 composite ranking: 41.25
Running back rank: 21st
Incident: Arrest on an assault charge (July)
Possible suspension: Two games. Goodell could choose to just fine Benson, but with three previous charges during his NFL career, the commish won’t waste time playing the “conduct detrimental to the NFL” card. The Bengals’ off-the-field reputation also hurts Benson’s chances of escaping punishment.
RB Backups
Laurence Maroney
Incident: Charged with misdemeanor marijuana possession in March (Stemming from arrest in January – pre-lockout)
Javarris James
Incident: Charged with marijuana possession (June)
WR – Kenny Britt
Top 200 composite ranking: 105.00
Wide receiver rank: 33rd
Incident: Charged with eluding an officer (April); charged with two counts of resisting arrest (June); surrendered to police after allegedly making false statements stemming from April charges (June).
Possible suspension: Four games minimum. Britt racked up 775 yards and nine touchdowns in 12 games last season. His fantasy ceiling is high, but expect the Tennessee wide receiver to miss a good chunk of time after meeting with Goodell.
WR – Hines Ward
Top 200 composite ranking: 121.00
Wide receiver rank: 40th
Incident: Arrested on suspicion of DUI (July)
Possible Suspension: One game. With the exceptions of getting under the skin of opponents and breaking Keith Rivers' jaw, Ward has kept clean during his 14-year career. Still, DUIs are serious matters and Goodell may punish the Steelers receiver.
WR Backup
Louis Murphy
Incident: Charged with drug possession (Viagra) without a valid prescription, failure to obey a police officer and resisting arrest (April)
CB - Aqib Talib
Top 200 composite ranking: NR (Tampa Bay)
Incident: Charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon (March)
Possible suspension: Up to eight games. Despite picking off six passes in 2010, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers may cut the troubled cornerback. In 2009, Talib was arrested on simple battery charges and resisting arrest. Depending on what happens with this most recent case, Goodell could suspend Talib for half the 2011 season.
LB - James Harrison
Top 200 composite ranking: 123.75 (PIT DEF)
Incident: Called Roger Goodell a “crook,” “devil,” and a “dictator” in an interview with Men’s Journal. (July)
Possible suspension: Four games. If you have the cojones to admit on the record that if the commissioner of the NFL, your boss, was on fire you wouldn’t urinate on him to extinguish the flame, you sir are soooo suspended. Harrison’s follow-up apology will not save face in this situation. It’s all out there in black, white and yellow.
