Last week the picks hit stormy seas, after a 13-6 opening two weeks of college football gambling we nearly capsized our boat, finishing 8-8 -- 7-8 on the 15 picks I gave you on here plus a blood bank guarantee Alabama on the second half line at Ole Miss that we won to get us to 8-8 on the weekend.
If you don't follow me on Twitter, do it. I've given out two additional picks there so far this year and if the time is right, I'll tell you when to get rich live during game action.
This means that we are now 21-14 on the season, that's still 60% but there's no doubt that I have to do better than I did last week.
I'm prepared.
That's why this week, we're going 11-0!
Yep, 11-0, baby!
Here we go:
Clemson at Georgia Tech, the over 57.5
This is a Thursday night game which means it is being played TOMORROW. Some of you drunk asses are going to read this, intend to bet it, and then the game is going to kick off and you're going to think, "Damn, was that on Thursday?"
Yes, you knuckleheads, it's on Thursday.
I think Clemson has found some of their offensive mojo and Georgia Tech certainly found theirs, running all over the place against Vanderbilt last week. Both teams will score at least 28 and I think Georgia Tech has this one close into the fourth quarter.
But rather than worry about late scores killing your cover, why not just celebrate all scores on a great Thursday night game?
Over's the play.
USC at Utah -3
What if I told you that USC head coach Clay Helton had to address whether a player punched him in a press conference yesterday? And that USC was physically beaten by Stanford this past weekend and now they have to turn around and play on a short week in Utah?
This game has all the requisite indications of being a total blow out.
You're giving me the better coach, with a team that actually listens to him, at home, on a short week -- THIS GAME IS FRIDAY NIGHT -- with USC starting a new quarterback? And I only give away three points? Come on, this is a gift from the gambling gods.
It won't even be Saturday yet and we're going to be 2-0.
(Props to Stu Mandel for looking at this line, by the way. He texted me on Monday that this line leapt out at him when Utah was only favored by 1.5. So I jumped on it Monday and it has since climbed to Utah -3. I still love it. There's a good chance USC quits in the second half in this one and we're all talking about whether Clay Helton gets fired before November.)
Mississippi State at UMASS +22
Sometimes simple rules are important when it comes to gambling. One of mine this year is this -- Mississippi State isn't 22 points better than any team on the road this year.
Which means you take the Minutemen and celebrate like it's the damn Boston Tea Party when the Minutemen lose by 17.
Louisville at Marshall, the over 74
So far Louisville has scored 70, 62, and 63 points on the season.
Last week Marshall gave up 65 points to the Akron Zips.
I understand this game falls between the Florida State and Clemson games for Louisville and that might mean that the Cardinals aren't sharp. But if they aren't sharp they're probably going to let Marshall score points. And then eventually they are going to score a ton of points too.
Let me be as clear about this as a can be --- THIS IS A DOUBLE BLOOD BANK GUARANTEE LOCK OF THE CENTURY. I just put my three kids' college funds on the over here. (Don't tell my wife.)
Vandy at Western Kentucky -7.5 and the over 51.5
You know how sometimes games serve as audition tapes for coaches who are eager to become multi-millionaires and move on to to bigger jobs.
Meet Western Kentucky coach Jeff Brohm, who is auditioning for a multi-million dollar job with this game film.
Brohm's got an "SEC" team traveling to Bowling Green, Kentucky and that "SEC" team used to be good at defense, but now they just suck everywhere. So Brohm has a ton to prove and Vanderbilt is just awful across the board.
That means this game is going to get ugly in hurry.
Western wins by at least two touchdowns and the over is hitting with ease. (And, by the way, I know what happened in last year's game. This ain't last year's Vandy defense.)
Arkansas +6 vs. Texas A&M
What do you do if two teams are completely even and they're playing a neutral site game? And what if those two teams have previously played two overtime games in a row in the previous two seasons?
You take the underdog and hope.
That's me with the Razorbacks this week.
Wisconsin at Michigan State -5.5
Wisconsin is not a good football team. Michigan State is a good football team.
And Michigan State is playing at home.
Sometimes beating Vegas is just too easy.
I actually feel bad for Steve Wynn, we're making him take portraits off his walls and turn them in to pay all our gambling winnings.
Georgia at Ole Miss, the over 61.5
So far the Georgia Bulldogs have proven two things: 1. their defense sucks and 2. they will throw the ball every play if they can, meaning that games last forever. So far Ole Miss has proven two things too: 1. they are capable of getting up by twenty points on anyone 2. they are capable of collapsing and allowing other teams to score points even faster than they can score points.
Chad Swag Kelly is going to eat this Bulldog defense alive. But Jacob Eason and Nick Chubb are going to score back just as fast.
The result?
Both teams go over thirty and you don't even have to care about who wins, because you'll be cashing that winning over ticket.
Florida at Tennessee, the under 43.5
I know, I know, I said the Vols were going to beat Florida 45-10 before the season started. Now I'm hiding like Will Byers in "Stranger Things." And you best believe that if Tennessee beats Florida 45-10 I am going to brag like I just won the lottery with a ticket I found on the ground in a strip club.
But any objective viewer of Florida and Tennessee this season knows that neither of these teams have an offense.
So it's going to be an ugly, brutal game and the Vols will find a way to win, but not before they take 22 more years off my life.
The under's the play here.
Honestly, the under is the play and you probably shouldn't watch. Just like my son's soccer coach, a huge UT fan and graduate of the school, who said he's going golfing during this game and refuses to watch after what's happened the past two seasons.
I think that's healthy.
LSU at Auburn, the under 46.5
In the battle to see which SEC West coach will be the first one fired, LSU and Auburn will show up and play one of the most boring football games this side of 3-2 between Auburn and Mississippi State years ago in Starkville.
LSU ends up winning 17-13, but every viewer loses.
Thankfully you won't even need to watch, because you'll have the under.
...
There we go boys and girls, 11-0 is coming this weekend. I can feel it in my pores. (And, I promise, that's not just the alcohol I'm sweating out from last night while I type in my underwear.)
Get rich.
#shootersshoot #dbap
