Jared 'Hefty Lefty' Lorenzen ready for Cardinals QB job (once he sheds some weight)

BY Brett Smiley • December 12, 2014

Jared "Hefty Lefty" Lorenzen is here (on Twitter) to assuage all your quarterback fears, Arizona Cardinals fans.

After Carson Palmer's replacement Drew Stanton went down Thursday night against the Rams and third-stringer Ryan Lindley took over (while also giving away Bibles online), the former New York Giants QB sneak specialist pitched his services:

Hey @AZCardinals I can be ready to leave in the morning. Fair warning it may take a week or 2 to get back to playing weight. #justplaying
— jared lorenzen (@JaredLorenzen22) December 12, 2014

Workouts start tonight. Just a few more lbs to go. Don't u worry AZ fans I'm on my way. #dontcallitacomeback pic.twitter.com/sUcG8FyuU3
— jared lorenzen (@JaredLorenzen22) December 12, 2014

Good night twitter. Enough fun for one night. In all seriousness I hope @drewstanton is ok and comes back. That's a good team.
— jared lorenzen (@JaredLorenzen22) December 12, 2014

Last time the Super Bowl was in #Arizona I was there. It there again this year. Looks like a sign to me. #SBXLII #XLIX
— jared lorenzen (@JaredLorenzen22) December 12, 2014

Lorenzen earned a Super Bowl ring as a member of the Giants in 2007-08 when he served as Eli Manning's backup. The former University of Kentucky standout was last seen slinging footballs in a ridiculous Monster Energy-colored, green scaly uniform for the Northern Kentucky River Monsters, highlights of which you can see below. His reported weight around that time was 320 pounds.

Fortunately Stanton won't need surgery but he's doubtful, at best, for Sunday against Seattle. If the Lefty hit the treadmill around 11 p.m. last night, he ought to be able to sneak under 300 for gametime next Sunday in Week 16.