A Utah high school basketball player is named Stockton Malone Shorts

Published Jun. 30, 2017 6:28 p.m. ET

Sports Illustrated, Daniel Rapaport/Sports Illustrated via Extra Mustard

In a sign that parental humor is alive and well, a Utah high school basketball star is named...wait for it...

Stockton. Malone. Shorts.

Stockton Malone Shorts is more than just an absolutely perfect name for a Utahn. He's averaging 24.2 points per game, and he scored 17 and posted 7 rebounds on Monday to lead Copper Hills to Utah's 5A boys basketball quarterfinals.

This is all the inspiration I need to name my first-born Shaq Kobe Rapaport.