National Football League

Who's the best of the worst?

Published Aug. 11, 2010 5:11 p.m. ET

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Peter Schrager

This August, like every August before, NFL fan bases around the country are brimming with optimism about their respective teams. Fans from Miami to Seattle spend summer days analyzing their teams’ upcoming schedules and convincing themselves, “You know what? 10-6 and a wild card berth is possible this year.”

After a few minutes and more contemplation, that 10-6 wild card season turns to 12-4 and a division crown. After a final look, 13-3 and a Super Bowl is not just a mere possibility  — it’s gonna happen!

And no one can tell them otherwise. It’s the very beauty of the NFL.

In every NFL season since 1999, at least five teams that failed to make the playoffs the year before qualified for the postseason. In 2009, the Saints, Bengals and Cowboys all won divisions despite missing the postseason altogether in 2008. The Dolphins went from 1-15 in 2007 to an AFC East division crown in ’08. The ’98 Colts were 3-13; the ’99 Colts were 13-3. It’s all about parity, and in today’s NFL any year could be your team’s year.

That is, of course, unless you’re a fan of the Bills, Buccaneers or Rams and the year is 2010.

I hate to be Debbie Downer, but if you’re a fan of one of those three franchises, I’m going to do what your loved ones should have done for you a few months ago. I’m ripping the Band-Aid off, because it ain’t happening this year, folks. Twenty-nine teams could end up being very good this year. Hell, even the Raiders, Browns and Lions could be playoff contenders in 2010. But, you guys? No, no and no.

The draft is only nine months away. You might as well pack it up and look towards April.

Hate, piss and moan all you want, but I’m a necessary evil. I’m that one friend who tells it to you like it is. I’m your buddy who pulls you aside and makes you change that terrible Facebook profile photo of you funneling a beer out of a hollowed-out wiffle ball bat. I’m the guy who lets you know it’s not the summer of 2006 and you shouldn’t still be doing that Borat imitation for the women at the bar. I’m the dude who saves you anguish of shattered August dreams by telling you the hard and ugly truth: Your team stinks and there’s a chance they could lose every game this season.

The 2008 Lions are the only NFL franchise to go 0-16, but the Bills, Bucs and Rams could all very well do it in 2010 and will all battle for being the worst team in football. Here's why ...

BUFFALO BILLS

2009 Record: 6-10
Current Las Vegas Over/Under Win Total: 5.5

Why they’ll stink...
Edwards, Fitzpatrick and Brohm sounds more like a law firm that advertises on city benches and subway cars than an NFL quarterback depth chart. The fact that not one of Buffalo’s three quarterbacks has done a thing in their pro careers scares me. The fact that not one has done a thing to distinguish himself from the other two in training camp is downright horrifying.

Beyond the quarterback position, the offensive line was an utter disaster in 2009 and could be even worse in 2010. Arguably the youngest and most inexperienced line in the entire league, the unit also lacks any semblance of depth. The Bills had 11 different players start at least one game up front in 2009, mostly due to injuries. GM Buddy Nix did next to nothing to upgrade the woeful unit over the offseason. Brad Butler, the most accomplished of the Bills O-linemen, shocked the team by retiring at the age of 26 to pursue interests outside of football. Starting left tackle Demetrius Bell, meanwhile, still isn’t 100% from a season-ending injury he suffered in Week 8 last season.

While the offense is a cause of concern in Buffalo (and no, I’m not convinced Steve Johnson is a bonafide NFL No. 2 wideout), the defense has its share of issues, too. The defensive backfield — if healthy — is one of the very best in the league. Can’t argue that.

But, outside of those four spots, there are question marks all over the front seven. Making the trendy switch to a 3-4 scheme, one would think Buffalo would have gone out and acquired a space-eating 330-plus-pound nose tackle to anchor the D-line. Instead, Kyle Williams— at just 305 pounds and undersized to play that position, will be the starter. And there are no proven backups behind him. The linebackers, though adequate enough on paper, have already been hit with Buffalo's annual rash of summertime injuries. Paul Posluszny (groin), Chris Kelsay (shoulder), Keith Ellison (leg) and Kawika Mitchell (Achilles) have all missed time this training camp due to ailments. Aaron Schobel, the team’s one pass-rushing threat from last season, spent four months mulling retirement before being released last week. Meanwhile, second-year man Aaron Maybin — arguably the most disappointing rookie of the 2009 class— has a lot to prove in 2010.

And then there’s the division. The Jets are going to boast a top-five defense and loaded up on offensive star power this offseason. The Dolphins only got better with the additions of rookie Koa Misi, Karlos Dansby and star WR Brandon Marshall. The Patriots aren’t going anywhere. Buffalo could easily go winless inside the division.

The Bills are tied for the league’s longest postseason drought in the NFL (along with Detroit Lions), having not played in the playoffs since the Music City Miracle year of ‘99. Put it in ink — you can add another season to that drought.

Who they might take with No. 1 overall pick in 2011 draft: Jake Locker, QB, Washington; Andrew Luck, QB, Stanford; Ryan Mallet, QB, Arkansas

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

2009 Record: 3-13
Current Las Vegas Over/Under Win Total: 5.5
Why they’ll stink ...
There are definitely some things to like about the 2010 Buccaneers. Their two rookie defensive tackles Gerald McCoy and Brian Price are being tutored by one-time Tampa great Warren Sapp and learning the ropes. The second-year starting quarterback and a pair of exciting rookie wideouts are the buzz of camp. The offensive line is young and pretty good, there’s some Pro Bowl talent at defensive back and their middle linebacker is consistently one of the leading tacklers in the league. Plus, the Bucs will undoubtedly wear the creamsicle jerseys at some point during the season.

There’s youth, energy, and excitement in Tampa. In 2013, the Bucs can potentially win the NFC South.

In 2010? I’m sorry, but they’re just too damn young.

Youth springs eternal in Tampa this season, as just three players in camp — cornerback Ronde Barber, defensive lineman Stylez G. White and guard Keydrick Vincent — are over the age of 30. The team is made up of wide-eyed rookies and second- and third-year veterans, mid-20s journeymen and a baby-faced coaching staff.

While this certainly makes the Bucs a loveable squad to root for (think the Indians in “Major League”), it doesn’t mean they’ll be contenders. Though starting left tackle Donald Penn recently got the contract extension he’d been longing for and the rookies got theirs, it doesn’t look like Tampa ownership will be going into a spending mode anytime soon. Long criticized for being overly frugal, a months-long investigation in England recently indicated that the Glazer family had greater debts than previously known and further suggested their real estate holdings in U.S. shopping centers were on shaky ground. Ask New York Mets fans who watched the baseball trading deadline come and go last week without a single noteworthy transaction — an ownership group not looking to spend big bucks and pay for outside talent doesn’t do much for team or fan morale.

After starting the 2009 season with a 1-12 record, the Buccaneers won two of their final three games, including an inspiring come-from-behind overtime victory over the eventual Super Bowl champion Saints. Expect a few similar fleeting moments of joy and excitement in 2010. Key words, fleeting moments.

Who they might take with No. 1 overall pick in 2011 draft: A.J. Green, WR, Georgia, Julio Jones, WR, Alabama; Anthony Costanzo, OT, Boston College

ST. LOUIS RAMS

2009 Record: 1-15
Current Las Vegas Over/Under Win Total: 5
Why they’ll stink ...
The Rams are a combined 6-42 over the last three NFL seasons, going from a dismal three wins in ’07 to two wins in ’08 to a league-worst one win in 2009. But there’s a new quarterback in town, the team seems to be rallying around coach Steve Spagnuolo in his second year and a new owner should (maybe? possibly?) be in place by August 25.

Unfortunately, there’s not much of a chance for a playoff season in 2010. Sorry. Just telling it like it is.

The Rams’ offense, now more than a decade removed from the “Greatest Show on Turf” squad of 1999, still appears to be Steven Jackson and a bunch of question marks.

Sam Bradford’s been the feel-good story of August, using this past weekend to show off his arm and wow fans at training camp. But he’s still a rookie QB, still currently backing up A.J. Feeley and still a kid 11 months removed from any competitive football action. And oh yeah, preseason scrimmages against the second-team defense in August aren’t exactly Week 14 bouts vs. Gregg Williams’ unit under the roof in New Orleans.

The wideout depth chart, made of several young unknowns, reveal a hodgepodge of unfamiliar names that could very well come together to form a serviceable unit. That said, there’s absolutely no No. 1 receiver in the bunch. Hell, there may not be a No. 2. Isaac Bruce and Torry Holt, they are not. Az-Zahir Hakim and Ricky Proehl? There probably isn't one of them either.

Some offseason moves were made to bolster the defense, including the acquisition of former Cowboys first-round bust Rob Carpenter, but no one’s expecting the young unit to finish in the top third of the NFL in 2010. “Spags” is a defensive coach at heart and there are some young talents poised for big years. There should be improvement from last year’s abysmal defensive showing, but any lofty expectations of a 2007 Giants-like defense should be tempered.

There’s certainly some positive energy around this team. 2010 training camp attendance has tripled over last year’s numbers and there have been a reported 2,000 season tickets sold in recent weeks. There's genuine buzz and a few reasons to care about the Rams in 2010.

But this is still a rebuilding year in St. Louis.

Yet again.

Who they might take with No. 1 overall pick in 2011 draft: A.J. Green, WR, Georgia; Marvin Austin, DT, North Carolina; Patrick Peterson, CB, LSU

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