New England Patriots

Nobody's perfect: Bill Belichick is pretty bad at these 9 things

Published Nov. 15, 2016 2:10 p.m. ET

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Chris Chase

Bill Belichick loves moments like this. Already down one quarterback, the New England Patriots' coach will be down another Thursday night when the injury to his original backup, Jimmy Garoppolo, will force third-string rookie Jacoby Brisette into the staring lineup against the 2-0 Texans.

Would Belichick prefer to have Garoppolo under center? Sure. Does he miss Brady like Brady misses former assistant equipment managers? Absolutely. But you're crazy if you don't think Belichick enjoys the challenge of it all, like the year he went 11-5 with Matt Cassel after Brady was lost with a deflating knee injury. He's not one of those guys who likes playing Madden on rookie level. He wants a challenge. It's like in the movies when the rogue cop who plays by his own rules is secretly pleased he's dealing with a criminal so cunning that he makes a worthy adversary. "Yeah, I can win with Brady. Now blindfold me, spin me in a circle 10 times and give me the quarterback from some mid-tier ACC team. Oh, and make us home underdogs just so I can shove it in your faces all the better."

He's a football genius who wins Super Bowls -- four now, tied with Chuck Noll. He's smart. He's witty. He's "crafty." He may be so fashion forward that it'll take generations to understand how he was transforming the art form. But Belichick has to be bad at something, right? Oh yes. Yes he does.

1. Coaching the Browns

In Belichick's first head coaching job he went 36-44, making the playoffs once in five seasons and winning just one postseason game -- against the Patriots.

2. Bon Jovi attentiveness

That's the man who sang "You Give Love A Bad Name." Show some respect, Billy. Jon Bon is in disbelief he's not the center of attention.

3. Coaches challenges

Belichick is 41-62 when throwing the challenge flag, putting him just under 40 percent on challenges. That's not horrible -- it actually puts him right in the middle of NFL coaches over that time. But Belichick doesn't settle for 50 percent, whether in effort from rookies or on Richie Sambora guitar solos.

The Pats coach once got seven in a row correct but also had a span of 1,041 days without getting one right. (That was aided by a 2013 in which he challenged just one call, almost as if he had made a wager that he could still go 12-4 without ever questioning the NFL's mediocre officiating. The Pats did go 12-4 that year but extended their Super Bowl drought to nine years.)

4. His NFL coaching tree

Seven coaches who have worked under Belichick have coached in the NFL: Romeo Crennel, Al Groh, Josh McDaniels, Eric Mangini, Nick Saban, Jim Schwartz and Bill O'Brien (the only current head coach). Those men combined to go 145-208 in their careers with only Groh (9-7 in one season in New York) and O'Brien (20-14 so far in Houston) posting winning records.

Of course, "NFL coaching tree" was very deliberate wording because if you change it to "coaching tree" you can include the greatest coach in college football (who may go down as the greatest the sport has ever seen), who also happened to be on his NFL tree, only as an abject failure.

5. Staying calm on the golf course during mid-round conversations with Kid Rock.

"What do you mean they didn't have a Lime-a-rita?!"

6. Drafting receivers

Belichick's first draft without former personnel boss Scott Pioli landed him a key cog in his offense for the past seven years, Julian Edelman. Here are the other receivers Belichick has drafted since: Brandon Tate, Taylor Price, Jeremy Ebert, Josh Boyce, Aaron Dobson, Jeremy Gallon, Devin Lucien and Malcolm Mitchell. They have combined for 130 NFL catches. Edelman has 341.

7. Capping undefeated seasons

Some chalk this up to the miracle scramble by Eli Manning and the helmet catch by David Tyree, but others could blame Belichick. How do you not have Rodney Harrison defending the crown of Tyree's helmet? It's just negligence.

8. Holding down jobs with the Jets

Belichick was set to follow head coach Bill Parcells from the Patriots (where Belichick was defensive coordinator for one year after his firing by the Browns) to New York, but a snag in contract talks led to the Jets hiring Belichick to be their "head coach" until Parcells could be released from his job in New England. After one week with Belichick at the helm, Parcells was free to come to New York, Belichick became assistant head coach and had a clause written in his contract that he'd become head coach when Parcells left.

That week was a virtual lifetime compared to the 20 hours Belichick spent as Jets coach when Parcells ended up resigning in January 2000. The clause kicked in and Belichick was head coach, until just before his introductory press conference -- when he handed a hastily scrawled note to management and then stunned the press by resigning from the Jets job. It was all a ruse to get Belichick more negotiating power, disguised as concern about the Jets ownership situation, and he ended up back in New England where, ironically, the Patriots had to give up picks to the Jets to get back the coach the Jets had landed by getting picks from the Patriots.

9. Smiling

I literally looked through thousands (not exaggerating) of Belichick pictures and found six -- SIX -- that featured him smiling. Of those six, four were from a Super Bowl-week joint interview with Pete Carroll, who must have brought his A+ material.

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