New England Patriots

Get Off My Lawn: Tom Brady's Dumb Pajamas

Updated Mar. 4, 2020 3:08 p.m. ET

Fansided, Hamilton Bones/FanSided via The Outside Game

By now, you might have heard that Tom Brady and Under Armour have teamed up to create $100 recovery pajamas. As a Patriot fan, I always hold my breath whenever Brady comes out with a new business venture because it is no secret that he has aligned himself with a greasy Snake Oil Salesman. Thankfully, I feel a little better that he is teaming with Under Armour on this dumb product versus coming out with another line of Electrolyte PH Balanced Non-Alkaline Concussion water with Alex Guerrero.

Second of all – no man needs pajamas. (That is unless you are making your wife happy and wearing Christmas themed ones once a year.) All a man needs is a pair of athletic shorts (Russell Athletics makes some sweet ones) and a soft t-shirt you got for free at the company picnic. Only a delusional fanboy would pluck down that kind of dough to sleep in Tom Brady-approved gear.

That being said, if my name was Matt (Barkley, Ryan, Moore, Stafford, McGloin) and I was an NFL QB, I would run out and buy 10 pairs of these dumb pajamas. It should be part of the NFL Rookie symposium to get players to sleep in these things. While it is easy to goof on Brady – it is pretty incredible what he is doing as a 39 year old athlete.

Now if you don’t mind – I need to go watch all of the hapless Wild Card games and figure out who will be taking on a well-rested Tom Brady in the Divisional Round. And another thing…Hey Roger Goodell: GET OFF MY LAWN.