Dallas Cowboys

Four Cowboys Predictions Sure To Go Wrong Against The Giants

Published Jun. 30, 2017 6:28 p.m. ET

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Here are my four Dallas Cowboys predictions that are sure to go wrong this Sunday as the Cowboys play against the New York Giants.

If I was good with predictions I would’ve already bought thousands of lottery tickets. I’d put DraftKings and FanDuel out of business. I would even be the Latino ‘Wolf of Wall Street’. But of course, I’m not and here we are.

No regrets right? You’ve already committed to reading this far so you might as well finish what you started. Why? Because you’re no quitter. These are my four Dallas Cowboys predictions sure to go wrong against the New York Giants this Sunday.

#1. Dallas Cowboys starting quarterback Dak Prescott will throw for over 300 yards, he will run for one score and will pass for two. The Giants defense did improve on paper but have yet to prove it on the field. They will have their hands full with the Dallas offensive line, receiving corps, and that Elliott guy.

#2. Speaking of that Elliott guy, Cowboys starting running back Ezekiel Elliott will rush for over 120 yards and will sit out the 2nd half of the fourth quarter to rest….in a crop top shirt. The G-Men’s defense will have a plate full and they wont be able to keep up with the rookie running back.

#3. The Dallas Cowboys defense will bend, but not break. If it’s the one thing that has fans worried its the Cowboys defense with key players being suspended. I don’t think anyone expects them to be dominant, but if they keep the Giants to only score in the low teens that will certainly be a pleasant surprise.

#4. We will see Mark Travis John Sanchez play. No, I didn’t just randomly list Mark’s brothers. That is his full legal name. We will see Sanchez play in garbage time because Prescott would have fulfilled his America’s Team duty in the first three quarters of play.

These are things you won’t have to worry about come Sunday. You’re welcome. If one of these four things does come true you may go buy a lottery ticket immediately. After you do, tweet me so I can buy one and tweet it to start trending as soon as possible.