The Grizzlies are making babies race against each other
Society as we know it is changing. Things will never be as they once were. Things will never be what you expected them to become.
We now live in a time of baby races. Yes, baby races. They've taken over various sports and games in the recent past, and the Memphis Grizzlies have been one of the foremost purveyors of infant-racing over the past few years. And 2015 will be no exception. Here's more from the Memphis Daily News:
When your baby crawls across the living room floor, do you hear a “beep-beep” like you would at FedExForum when point guard Mike Conley drives past defenders to the rim?
If so, you might want to bring your baby to the stadium for what the team calls the “mother of all baby races,” the Annual Grizzlies Infie 500 Diaper Derby, to be held at halftime of the Sunday, Dec. 6, game vs. the Phoenix Suns.
To enter a baby in this speed-crawling competition, family members should submit an online entry on grizzlies.com explaining in 50 words or less why their baby should be selected. Entries will be judged based on content creativity. Submissions will be accepted until noon Wednesday, Nov. 25. Babies must be 6-12 months old to participate; babies who can walk are not eligible.
Finalists will receive four tickets to the Grizzlies vs. Suns game on Dec. 6. The winner gets, as the Daily News wrote, "two courtside seats to a future Grizzlies game, a $100 gift card to the Grizz Den by adidas, a 'golden bottle' trophy and the champion title. All qualifying babies will receive a Grizzlies gift pack."
Here's hoping this is a clean race. Lying on an infant's birth certificate, for instance, is punishable by nothing, because this is totally ridiculous in the most adorable way. But what guarantee do we have that these infants won't be using performance-enhancing formula?
Good luck to you and your super-athletic babies, Grizzlies fans.
